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by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
In today's video interview for YourCreativeChord, I talk with Betsy Wurzel about dealing with dementia! Betsy is the founder of #KickAlzheimersAssMovementFacebook Group and the host of the Chatting With Betsy Radio Show. She was a caregiver for her late husband, Matt, who battled with Alzheimers for 10 years. We dive into how this experience prompted Betsy to rise up as a leader bringing support to caregivers of loved ones dealing with dementia. Straight talk and practical tips for caregivers dealing with dementia here as well as a reminder of alternatives for pre-planning your creative memorial and legacy. Find Betsy and more Dementia and Caregiver Support at: https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/kickalzheimersassmovement Listen to Chatting With Betsy: https://passionateworldtalkradio.com/chatting-with-betsy/ Stay tuned for the podcast next Tuesday. Find Betsy and more Dementia and Caregiver Support at: #KickAlzheimersAssMovementFacebookGroup Chatting With Betsy Radio Show Recommended Resources: Teepa Snow Dementia Spotlight Foundation Teepa Snow Books & DVDs Dementia Activities For Seniors YourCreativeChord Self-Care Ideas YourCreativeChord Music & Nature Video YourCreativeChord Caregiver Support YourCreativeChord Self-Care Resources I provide the step by step journey to relief, peace of mind, huge cost savings, and satisfaction from getting your personalized creative memorial planned within 2 months using earth-friendly, cost-reducing *alternatives* to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate &/or religious involvement. Join my CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING FACEBOOK GROUP to access my FREE video series with Reflections For You ebook. My Creative Memorial Planning Webinar walks you through the benefits of cost-reducing, earth-friendly options, empowering you and your loved ones to create a meaningful, personalized memorial with less or zero corporate funeral businesses and/or religious involvement. It includes tips for saving costs, creating a memorial agenda, programs, communicating with and assembling others, writing and posting a life story online, and more. Through this webinar, you’ll gain peace of mind with a supportive guide who’s been through it, knows the process, and can show you the way step by step. GET Your Creative Memorial Planning Webinar here. *** I’d love to feature answers to listener-submitted questions about anything you want to ask about Creative Memorial Planning. All you have to do is email a voice memo to: Jenny@YourCreativeChord.com of no more than 2 minutes, sharing your name, where you’re located, what your question is, and any context you want to share. A few selected voice memos will be included for future podcasts, so please only submit if you’re comfortable having it shared! Created/Produced/Hosted by Jenny Leigh Hodgins Content & Music © 2021 Jenny Leigh Hodgins You can also find YourCreativeChord on: www.pinterest.com/YourCreativeChord/ www.instagram.com/yourcreativechord/ www.linkedin.com/in/jennyleighhodgins/ www.facebook.com/YourCreativeChord
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My latest FREE stuff, An Upcoming Guest, & One Hot Tip to help you with your Creative Memorial Plan!1/26/2021
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
In my LIVE presentation within Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group, I shared my latest FREE stuff, An Upcoming Guest, & One Hot Tip to help you with your Creative Memorial Plan! I provide the step by step journey to relief, peace of mind, huge cost savings, and satisfaction from getting your personalized creative memorial planned within 2 months using earth-friendly, cost-reducing *alternatives* to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate &/or religious involvement. Click Here To Join my CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING FACEBOOK GROUP to access my FREE video series with Reflections For You ebook! Are you ready right now to get your End-of-Life plans mapped out using alternatives to the traditional customs? Learn more about Creative Memorial Planning options with my Creative Memorial Planning Webinar here! The webinar will help you learn about your concerns, questions, or goals. GET YOUR Qs ANSWERED ON YOURCREATIVECHORD PODCAST! I’d love to feature answers to listener-submitted questions about anything you want to ask about Creative Memorial Planning. All you have to do is email a voice memo to: Jenny@YourCreativeChord.com of no more than 2 minutes, sharing your name, where you’re located, what your question is, and any context you want to share. A few selected voice memos will be included for future podcasts, so please only submit if you’re comfortable having it shared! If you have questions and prefer not to have your voice featured on my podcast, feel free to drop them in the comments here.
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
In my video above, I shared how your personal preferences are a great starting point for getting your end-of-life plans done. I provide the step by step journey to relief, peace of mind, huge cost savings, and satisfaction from getting your personalized creative memorial planned within 2 months using earth-friendly, cost-reducing *alternatives* to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate &/or religious involvement. Click Here To Join my CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING FACEBOOK GROUP to access my FREE video series with Reflections For You ebook! Are you ready right now to get your End-of-Life plans mapped out using alternatives to the traditional customs? Learn more about Creative Memorial Planning options with my Creative Memorial Planning Webinar here! The webinar will help you learn about your concerns, questions, or goals. GET YOUR Qs ANSWERED ON YOURCREATIVECHORD PODCAST! I’d love to feature answers to listener-submitted questions about anything you want to ask about Creative Memorial Planning. All you have to do is email a voice memo to Jenny@YourCreativeChord.com of no more than 2 minutes, sharing your name, where you’re located, what your question is, and any context you want to share. A few selected voice memos will be included for future podcasts, so please only submit if you’re comfortable having it shared! If you have questions and prefer not to have your voice featured on my podcast, feel free to drop them in the comments here.  by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
I’m excited to announce that we’ve officially surpassed 500 members in Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group! What a fabulous way to start the NEW YEAR! The growth of my group means that more people are thinking and learning about alternatives to the traditional end-of-life plan. This positively impacts the planet, loved ones, and the pocketbook! If you haven't already done so—I invite you to join our supportive community and learn more about alternatives to the traditional end-of-life plan and how I can help you map out your creative memorial plan using less or zero corporate funeral or religious involvement. Today I interviewed transition doula and educator Anna Adams about what a death doula does. In Part 2 of my chat with transition doula and educator Anna Adams, she shares How To Become An End-of-Life Doula. Missed my recent videos? Click the links below to catch up! 4 Ways To Map Out Your Legacy For Loved Ones❤️ 6 eco-friendlier alternatives to traditional funerals. Why traditional funeral customs aren't the best choice. Here’s an idea for your creative memorial or loving holiday tribute! Are you ready right now to get your End-of-Life plans mapped out using alternatives to the traditional customs? Learn more about Creative Memorial Planning options with my Creative Memorial Planning Webinar here!
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
One of the alternatives to traditional funeral plans explored in Creative Memorial Planning Facebook group is the involvement of a death doula. I spoke with Australia-based Death Educator, Doula, Trainer, and Clinical Hypnotherapist Denise Love about how an end-of-life-doula serves families as an alternative to a traditional funeral plan. Drop an #aha if anything in our conversation resonates with you! Ask questions freely! Contact Denise Love to learn more about involving a death doula in your end of life plans. I help 50+ adults and families explore earth-friendly, cost-reducing alternatives to traditional funeral plans with less or zero corporate or religious involvement and map out your personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan. Get the step by step journey to relief, peace of mind, huge cost savings, and satisfaction from getting your personalized creative memorial planned.
Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to catch REPLAYS from my 5-day virtual event, SUNSET SUMMIT.
Learn about alternatives to traditional funerals and end of life plans that are more gentle, comforting, cost-reducing, and planet-friendly. SUNSET SUMMIT featured a variety of experts offering ways for transforming your Golden Chapter of life with earth-friendly, personalized, cost-reducing, and meaningful end of life services and support. For a limited time you may watch the REPLAYS from experts who presented throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, and grief therapists. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, midlife wellness experts, and learn more about earth-friendly, gentler alternatives to traditional end of life planning. SUNSET SUMMIT is ONLY available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members.
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
I soooooo appreciate that I was featured on Fave Lifestyles Facebook Group today with the wonderful host Karen Rae! Fave Lifestyles Group is a community of purpose-driven women who are doing life together! Fave provides community and lifestyle tips for inspired living. The Fave Circle of Experts shares their expertise to guide the community through life’s ups and downs. Watch my interview in the video above. Consider joining Fave Lifestyles group--IT'S WORTH IT! Great group of positivity and women supporting and empowering each other! 
Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to attend my upcoming SUNSET SUMMIT, from October 26 -30, 2020.
You'll learn about alternatives to traditional funerals and end of life plans that are more gentle, comforting, cost-reducing, and planet-friendly. SUNSET SUMMIT will feature a variety of experts offering ways for transforming your Golden Chapter of life with earth-friendly, personalized, cost-reducing, and meaningful end of life services and support. We'll have LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, grief therapists, coaches, and hypnotherapists. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, a natural cemetery within a 41-acre conservation sanctuary (Natural Burial Site), and more earth-friendly, gentler alternatives to traditional end of life planning. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members. Join now by clicking the button below. 
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
Using courage to do the hard stuff empowers you with more confidence and forges inner strength. Why? When you do what’s hard—eventually you make it to the other side of that task or situation. You know what you feel once you've faced the challenge? You lighten up your life. You feel lighter because you’ve done what needs doing —so you have no regrets. It’s an incredibly positive feeling. I wish for you to experience it. The way you do that is by mustering your courage to face your fear, the discomfort, the challenge or obstacle, and moving forward anyway. Having courage doesn’t mean you don’t have fear, anxiety, or doubt. But moving forward even when you feel afraid, nervous, or anxious is courage itself. Once you have bravely moved forward to do the hard stuff anyway, you have created within yourself an expanded life state that will enable you to handle life’s inevitable obstacles more readily and with greater ease. It's like Eleanor Roosevelt said about facing the worst. Once you've gotten through it you can face anything else that comes along. Because you'll have found your inner strength and capability. This is my experience. Speaking of facing challenges, do you know what to do about your death and why it matters that you do it? I hope you use your courage to get your end of life plan in place now, regardless of your age or schedule. Facing this task courageously relieves not only you—but paves a much smoother path for surviving loved ones. Do you know what to do when someone dies? Do you know how to prepare your loved ones in advance for your end of life? (Other than just doing nothing about it and/or leaving it to corporate funeral reps to handle it in their corporate custom ways at their premium prices-- with earth damaging effects?) Why does that matter? Watch my video above to learn more...
Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to attend my upcoming SUNSET SUMMIT, from October 26 -30, 2020.
SUNSET SUMMIT will feature thirteen fabulous experts offering ways for preparing and transforming your Golden Chapter of life by living fully and dying well! SUNSET SUMMIT will feature LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, grief therapists, hypnotherapists, and coaches. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, tips for dealing with anxiety, and wellness for midlife, as well as more earth-friendly, gentler, personalized alternatives to traditional end of life plans. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members.  by Jenny Leigh Hodgins We die how we live. Yeh, I know my topic is How Can We Access A More Mindful State Of Living? But living fully and dying well go together like PB & J, a ball and glove, or fish and water. Here’s the silver lining to that seemingly dark cloud; there are huge benefits from accepting and addressing our mortality. ‘We die how we live’ means that we can access a much more mindful state of living in the present with a sense of relief and peace of mind—once we grapple with the issue of death. None of us will escape the experience of loss. The fundamental commonality we have is that we will all leave this world at some point. Reality check: we have no control over when we go. This is what I’ve learned through personal tragedies and helping many others as an unofficial celebrant through their losses. Through that role I helped others sort out how to handle the remains, prepare a Goodbye Ritual, emcee, facilitate, perform, or speak at the services. I also helped sort out the agenda and create programs, prepare recordings and other personalized tributes as part of the event. I was in that situation because people did not have end of life plans in order and frankly, were unable to function due to grief and heavy emotions. So they could not get anything properly done. No Plan Adds Burden I saw this heavy suffering firsthand many times when there was no plan in place. This is what motivates me as a Creative Memorial Planning Coach; I do not want to see YOU suffer or your loved ones needlessly suffer in that way. I’ve heard some folks say that a plan, and in particular, a Goodbye Ritual is unnecessary. I beg to differ. I have seen both sides to this. When there’s a plan, despite the natural grief process, the burden is lighter, and the legacy provided with a detailed plan becomes a source of comfort, and proof of a loving gesture for surviving loved ones. No plan in place simply adds burden to those already in the vulnerable position of deep emotion. I cannot understand why anyone would dump that onto their loved ones. Mapping out your end of life plan is important as a way of relieving burden, extra expense, suffering, and providing a loving legacy. An end of life plan is a way of leaving our compassionate mark on others and the planet (when opting for alternative, earth-friendly choices). It saddens me when someone doesn’t care enough to get a plan in place. They don’t see how that impacts surviving loved ones. I have seen it. I don’t want people to go through that. Impact Your State of Life But, back to the original topic--having an end of life plan also impacts your state of life. You can relax knowing you’ve done your best, made that compassionate cause, and left your legacy through your compassionate actions. As a Creative Memorial Planning Coach, and host of Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group, I’m different from other end of life pre-planners because I strongly support ALTERNATIVES to the traditional corporate funeral customs. I share about these alternative options in my private group and through my hybrid self-study/coaching program Explore, Choose, and Plan Your Creative Memorial. I’d like to invite you to join my group. I’m hosting an exciting SUNSET SUMMIT October 26-30! You'll learn about alternatives to traditional funerals and end of life plans that are more gentle, comforting, cost-reducing, and planet-friendly. SUNSET SUMMIT will feature a variety of experts offering ways for preparing and transforming your Golden Chapter of life with gentler, personalized, cost-reducing, earth-friendly, and meaningful midlife and end of life services and support. We'll have LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, grief therapists, hypnotherapists, counselors, social workers, wellness and mindset coaches. You'll gain empowering information on living fully, dying well, caregiver support, dealing with anxiety, midlife wellness, and alternatives to traditional end of life plans. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members. So, I invite you to join the group . Please help me spread the word; invite anyone you feel would benefit from learning more about alternatives to traditional corporate funerals, end of life planning, and how to leave a loving legacy with less or zero corporate or religious involvement.  by Jenny Leigh Hodgins Creative Memorial Planning Alternatives to Traditional Funerals One of the alternatives to traditional funeral plans shared in Creative Memorial Planning Facebook group is the involvement of a death doula. Creative Memorial Planning Coach Jenny Leigh Hodgins speaks with Canada-based Death Educator and Doula, Lesley James about how an end-of-life-doula serves families as an alternative to a traditional funeral plan. James says it boils down to the question, "What Would Your Loved One Want?" We discuss how a doula can help during the pandemic, for end of life planning, at-home funeral ideas, natural burials, and the incredible process and benefits of aquamation or water cremation. I help 50+ adults & families explore earth-friendly, cost-reducing alternatives to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate or religious involvement—and map out your personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan.  Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to attend my upcoming SUNSET SUMMIT, from October 26 -30, 2020.
You'll learn about alternatives to traditional funerals and end of life plans that are more gentle, comforting, cost-reducing, and planet-friendly. SUNSET SUMMIT will feature a variety of experts offering ways for transforming your Golden Chapter of life with earth-friendly, personalized, cost-reducing, and meaningful end of life services and support. We'll have LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, and grief therapists. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, a natural cemetery within a 41-acre conservation sanctuary (Natural Burial Site), and more earth-friendly, gentler alternatives to traditional end of life planning. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members. Join now by clicking the image above.
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
Check out my recent video message above, How Can We Access A More Mindful State Of Living?
Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to attend my upcoming SUNSET SUMMIT, from October 26 -30, 2020.
SUNSET SUMMIT will feature a variety of fabulous experts offering ways for preparing and transforming your Golden Chapter of life by living fully and dying well! SUNSET SUMMIT will feature LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, grief therapists, hypnotherapists, and coaches. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, tips for dealing with anxiety, and wellness for midlife, as well as more earth-friendly, gentler, personalized alternatives to traditional end of life plans. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members.
Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to attend my upcoming SUNSET SUMMIT, from October 26 -30, 2020.
You'll learn about alternatives to traditional funerals and end of life plans that are more gentle, comforting, cost-reducing, and planet-friendly. SUNSET SUMMIT will feature a variety of experts offering ways for preparing and transforming your Golden Chapter of life with gentler, personalized, cost-reducing, earth-friendly, and meaningful end of life services and support. We'll have LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, grief therapists, hypnotherapists, and coaches. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, a Natural Burial Site within a 41-acre conservation sanctuary, living fully, dying well, and more earth-friendly, gentler alternatives to traditional end of life plans. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members. 
There’s no good time for end of life planning. It only gets easier once it’s DONE.
Advancing like a LION through the end of life planning challenge results in positive feelings like confidence, peace of mind, and a sense of relief. I know this because I've been a creative memorial planner and celebrant for many people. On the other hand, and I know this from personal experience, if you do nothing to prepare an end of life plan, surviving loved ones will have more suffering and burden than their grief of the loss. This is why it's important to use courage to get things in place now. Courage, when it comes to an end of life plan, translates into a lasting, loving legacy for your loved ones. In my video above, tune in to learn how I introduce funeral ALTERNATIVES that help the planet and SAVE you and your loved ones unnecessary expense!
Are you fearful of the End of Life conversation?
Watch my LIVE video to get FOUR STEPS you need to take in preparation for your most critical moment.
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
Are you fearful of starting the End of Life conversation? I get it. Death is a taboo topic. We wanna LIVE! But are you able to live fully and mindfully if you haven’t prepared yourself or loved ones for a defining and crucial moment? Follow these 4 STEPS to start a plan for your most crucial moment: 1. Start the conversation. 2. Share your ideas for your creative memorial plan—how to handle remains, where/contact info/payment plan, a Goodbye Ritual (earthy to celebrations of life with a full memorial agenda) 3. Ask for your loved ones’ wishes/preferences/feedback to personalize a meaningful memorial plan. 4. Get these details written and ready The results will be a tremendous relief, peace of mind, a sense of accomplishment, and a lasting gift of your love to those who mean the most —because YOU made the difficult decisions so THEY won’t have to. I help 50+ adults, caregivers, veterans, & families explore earth-friendly, cost-reducing ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate &/or religious involvement—& map out a personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan. 
Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to attend my upcoming SUNSET SUMMIT, from October 26 -30, 2020.
You'll learn about alternatives to traditional funerals and end of life plans that are more gentle, comforting, cost-reducing, and planet-friendly. SUNSET SUMMIT will feature a variety of experts offering ways for transforming your Golden Chapter of life with earth-friendly, personalized, cost-reducing, and meaningful end of life services and support. We'll have LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, and grief therapists. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, a natural cemetery within a 41-acre conservation sanctuary (Natural Burial Site), and more earth-friendly, gentler alternatives to traditional end of life planning. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members. Join now by clicking the image above or the button below. Why ALTERNATIVES to traditional funerals are better PLUS the ONE thing that will make the biggest impact for your loved ones!
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
As Mom’s caregiver, I do what I can to assure she enjoys a quality life. I make sure she has plants on the patio to enjoy during breakfasts. I take her for drives in the countryside in beautiful Kentucky during this period of pandemic isolation. When possible, I take her for walks in the neighborhood or nearby park areas where there are few people about. We eat home-cooked, whole, mostly organic foods. We Zoom and text with other family members to keep her spirits up and stay connected. I stay on top of her meds and doctor communications. Another thing I do is engage Mom in stories about her history. We recently talked about how my Dad worked regularly to update his end of life plans so none of us had anything to figure out when he died of cancer in 2014. Mom and I also talked about making the end of life a quality experience for Mom and those of us who will remain after she’s gone. The ONE thing that will make the biggest impact toward a quality end of life experience is preparing in advance. Preparing for Mom’s end of life is a huge step. Why? It brings the benefits of:
We’ve been updating Mom’s Will and end of life plans (mine, too!) with attention to as much detail as possible. DETAILS are where you can have the biggest impact for a quality death experience! Mom and I have covered: 1. exploring alternatives to traditional funeral plans for how to handle the remains, 2. payment info of these services, 3. preparing a life story announcement, 4. how to get the announcement communicated, 5. final legacy messages, 6. photos, 7. and more personally tailored details for a Goodbye Ritual to comfort surviving loved ones and serve as a loving, lasting legacy. Our late relatives only knew one way to handle end of life planning: corporate customs that were costly, damaging to the planet, and impersonal and abruptly handled. Over the years and through experiencing the loss of loved ones, Mom has changed her mind from having traditional funeral plans to alternative options. Why? BENEFITS OF CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or zero corporate and/or religious involvement have great benefits! Alternatives to traditional funeral plans are: 1. less abrupt and more personally meaningful to both the dying and surviving loved ones, 2. dramatically less expensive, and 3. far less destructive to the earth Planning these details now for alternatives to corporate funeral customs: 1. makes things easier for all of us, 2. cuts cost dramatically, 3. assures Mom’s preferences to protect the planet, and 4. allows for a personalized plan that will become her loving legacy. Was this helpful to you? As a Creative Memorial Planning Coach, I invite you to learn more about how I can help you explore earth-friendly, cost-reducing ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or zero corporate and/or religious involvement. My Explore, Choose, and Plan Your Creative Memorial Program is a 2-month hybrid self-study and 1:1 weekly one-hour coaching program with me. During my two-month program, I walk with you step-by-step to:
Within my two-month program, I help you map out your creative memorial plans—based on your personal values. Get help with exploring earth-friendly?, cost-reducing? ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or zero corporate funeral &/or religious involvement. Relieve the burden from your loved ones by getting your Creative Memorial Plan mapped out! ❣️ I help 50+ adults, caregivers, and families explore earth-friendly, cost-reducing ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or even ZERO corporate and/or religious involvement. I help you map out your personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan. I invite you to join my Creative Memorial Planning Group to access my FREE Video series with Reflections For You downloadable ebook as a supportive guide!
Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to attend my upcoming SUNSET SUMMIT, from October 26 -30, 2020.
You'll learn about alternatives to traditional funerals and end of life plans that are more gentle, comforting, cost-reducing, and planet-friendly. SUNSET SUMMIT will feature a variety of experts offering ways for transforming your Golden Chapter of life with earth-friendly, personalized, cost-reducing, and meaningful end of life services and support. We'll have LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, and grief therapists. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, a natural cemetery within a 41-acre conservation sanctuary (Natural Burial Site), and more earth-friendly, gentler alternatives to traditional end of life planning. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members.
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
As a caregiver for my senior mom, we recently updated her End Of Life plan. I helped Mom change from a corporate funeral prepaid plan to an alternative that saved her THOUSANDS and is more in line with her personal values and beliefs. What I learned: I see the itemized breakdown of corporate costs as extravagant and mainly lining corporate pockets w profit—straight out of my Mom’s pocket—and people like her. I’ll admit that a pre-plan MIGHT save you money if you’re going the full traditional funeral route; caskets, corporate facilities for visitations and receptions, transportation like hearses and limousines, graveside burials, etc. The truth is that the average traditional corporate funeral costs in the USA run between $8-$25K depending on where you live. The pre-paid policy option claims to save you money by locking in the price against inflation. But these preplanned policies are more costly than necessary and definitely more expensive than the alternatives that I help you explore as your Creative Memorial Planning Coach and within my Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group. Let me paint a clear picture: After looking through Mom’s itemized prepaid plan she’d previously arranged through corporate funeral, I recognized that a prepaid policy costs two to three times more than the ACTUAL cost of the services requested (depending on the services opted for). Corporate funerals help keep death a mystery so people don’t readily ask the right questions. Most people get easily overwhelmed by the topic of death due to emotion and spiritual beliefs--and therefore willingly pay premium fees for corporate funeral staff to handle it. There are often what I call ‘blanket fees’ that are just pure gravy for corporate funeral-- in addition to the actual itemized services and products you opt for--and you will *pay additional* fees beyond this blanket fee for each of these itemized services and products. I get it —corporate funerals are there for profit. They’ve got to keep their lights on—so that expense falls directly on you and YOUR pocketbook. The more you opt for, the more they stand to gain. But end of life planning doesn’t need to break your bank account or deplete your pocketbook! As your Creative Memorial Planning Coach, I can help you with that! Instead of the excessive cost or the abrupt and impersonal customs of the corporate funeral route—here’s what I offer you:
My program is a two-month hybrid self-study and one on one coaching program—with video tutorials, templates, checklists, and my Reflections For You workbook as a supportive guide. I work through every detail with you at *your own pace* to cover the issues of most importance to you—within a two-month period. I help you map out your creative memorial plan within two months--so your loved ones don’t have to think about it in their most vulnerable moment. Imagine how you’ll feel knowing that you’ve got your end of life plan completely mapped out within two months. Everything in one place, your personal wishes and options completely customized to your personal values. You can rest assured that your surviving loved ones have nothing to figure out or pay for or deal with because you’ve got it all done for them. Get my help with exploring earth-friendly, cost-reducing ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate funeral &/or religious involvement. Relieve the burden from your loved ones by getting your creative memorial plan mapped out! Join my CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING GROUP to access my FREE video series with Reflections For You ebook!  by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
I'm super pumped to have been featured this week on the Women Living Well After 50 Podcast! This is a great podcast by my fellow entrepreneur buddy and Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group member, Australia-based Sue Loncaric. Her podcast episode is called CREATIVE MEMORIALS - WHAT ARE THEY? AND WHY YOU SHOULD CONSIDER ONE. Check out her intro below and click the links to explore more: "I was delighted to have a chat with Jenny Leigh Hodgins from Creative Memorial Planning to discuss the various options available to us if we are looking for an alternative to the traditional funeral. After chatting with Jenny, I had the conversation with Mike, my husband and we are both in the process of documenting our wishes. We have had previous discussions about what we wanted, however, we hadn’t documented them. This episode was also originally published on the YouTube channel so you can also watch the video here." HIGHLIGHTS from our chat:
Click here to listen to the podcast. Let me know if you found the podcast to be helpful! Share widely on your social media and forward by email if you wanna show me some love. 🦋🌳 Book a FREE Discovery Call with me to see how I can help you explore earth-friendly🌎, cost-reducing💰💰 ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate or religious involvement— and map out your personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan!❣️  Kentucky summer sunset photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins. (Photo links to YCC's Instagram.)  Sample obituary template by YourCreativeChord.com by Jenny Leigh Hodgins If you don't know where to start with planning a memorial, this is part of a series of blogs on this topic. Read the first blog here: How To Ease Burden By Your Loving Preparation. THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE YOU SUFFER A LOSS In many different scenarios, I’ve stood by to watch my family members and friends be completely and utterly unable to function when facing the loss of a loved one. Due to lack of planning, or when others were nonfunctional, I handled some challenging things. I’ve held the sacred honor of being present enough to step up and fulfill various roles so that the grieving process and public rituals for the deceased could be honored as respectfully as possible. From making phone calls to inform others of the sad news, planning memorial agendas, writing obituaries and creating memorial programs, to composing and performing piano or vocal music, or leading spoken eulogies, I’ve worn many hats with regard to the sad, difficult time of loss. It was gut-wrenching for me each time. Through my personal anguish, and the torment of seeing others I care for going through their sorrow, I also saw firsthand the things that heaped more insult to this injury of the heart. Loss is something we must all endure one day. Death knocks on every door at some point. I don’t claim to be an expert at memorial planning. There are as many different ways to handle an end-of-life situation as there are people in the world. I humbly embrace my experiences with these ending chapters, though, and want to offer help by sharing my knowledge of things to consider. WHERE TO START WHEN DEALING WITH LOSS Facing the suffering of loss and grief is complex, grueling and exhausting. It’s necessary to find a way through this process and manage communication to others, and a ceremony, service or ritual for closure that is comforting to you and others experiencing loss. Even if your plan excludes a public or traditional memorial service, informing those you love about your preferences alleviates confusion and pain after you’re gone. Dealing with this can be more excruciating when you don’t have a plan. I’ve personally witnessed tragic situations of sudden loss, where no plan was in place. Grieving people have difficulty thinking, concentrating, communicating, or even functioning. This causes tremendous angst for surviving loved ones. Communication in this context can be incomplete, chaotic, and confusing. This adds to further stress for everyone involved. No matter how you want to handle this, it’s important to think about it before you need a plan, so that your suffering and that of others is alleviated. When there is a plan in place, though grief is still unavoidable, there is at least a structure to follow. This takes the pressure off of you and others experiencing loss, so you may go through the motions of whatever ritual you or your loved one has in place. Not having to figure it out or think about it or communicate with others who are grieving too, makes everything a little easier for everyone involved. HOW TO PREPARE YOUR END-OF-LIFE STORY People need to be informed when someone has died. Getting an obituary published in a local newspaper and/or through a funeral home’s website is a common way to make the unpleasant announcement. Things you need to consider include having an obituary ready. If finances are an issue, there are ways to get the word out with the least expense. HOW TO SAVE MONEY WHEN YOU NEED AN OBITUARY A written, publicly posted obituary is especially important if you want friends and family to attend the memorial. This lessens your burden of making calls or sending messages while you are under duress. If finances are an issue, it’s even more important to plan ahead. Writing an obituary can be stressful enough without having to worry about the cost. Be aware that having an obituary printed through a funeral business, or directly with the local newspaper, can be costly. Though the funeral company may offer to send in the obituary, they generally will not bring this expense to your attention. Instead, you will later receive the bill from the newspaper. You should also know that if you write more than a few lines for the obituary, that will easily run the printing cost to more than $800. WRITE TWO OBITUARY VERSIONS You can save this cost by creating a short version. If you submit only the most basic details for newspaper publication, and specify this shortened version to the funeral business, the newspaper’s shortened obituary version will cost you nothing. Create a short version using only the most basic details, such as the name of deceased, date of death, time and place of memorial services. Here is a simple example of a short version obituary that will cost nothing: “Danielle (Dannie) Lewis Ford, 55, passed away June 17, 2018. Join a celebration of Dannie’s life, June 28, 6pm at Greenleaf Funeral Home. Visitation from 5pm.” Even this minimal information could cost something if your word choices extend past a few lines. The funeral home should be able to clarify whether your wording will print free of charge. If not, consider shortening the sentences to keep things concise. Some may feel that this brief amount of words doesn’t do justice to those we’ve lost. Fortunately, most funeral companies also allow a longer and fully detailed obituary to be posted on their company website. You may then share the link from that website with your social media, or by email or text free of charge. THINGS TO INCLUDE IN AN OBITUARY For the longer version, you may include as much information on the deceased as you want. You may use my example below as a template, by replacing the information with your own. You may want to include the birthplace and date, accomplishments such as education or awards, military service, and career milestones. Surviving family and close friends are often listed in an obituary. You may also wish to include things that were important to your loved one, like their favorite subjects, hobbies, charities, causes, religious affiliations, and so on. You may include as much information as you desire in this longer version without incurring cost. Sharing comforting quotes or poetry, and even a photo collage may be submitted for the funeral company to upload onto your designated obituary tribute. Your words allow surviving loved ones to remember treasured memories, shared experiences, and personality traits that made this person special to all who were acquainted. Below is an example of a longer version, suitable for the funeral home’s website. Feel free to use this as a template to prepare an obituary. Having one as a reference is a great relief to those who will be there when you’re gone. I know this is a delicate and emotionally taxing topic for all. But if you get a few things in order well in advance of need, you and your loved ones will rest easy and at peace. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this blog is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! If you don't know where to start with planning a memorial, JOIN MY CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING FACEBOOK GROUP! Recommended Reading: 5 Ways to Master Caregiver Learning Curve HOW TO USE SELF-CARE TO FEEL HAPPY How To Ease Burden By Your Loving Preparation Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia Connect with YOURCREATIVECHORD on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, the critical thing you must consider is that a loss will impact everyone involved. Grief affects everyone’s ability to function. People normally have differing communication styles, but when under the duress of grief, even with the best of intentions, this can make things stressful. When people are faced with a loss and don’t have a memorial plan in place, this can make handling the memorial a complicated and difficult ordeal for everyone. Bearing this in mind, preparing a basic plan in advance will absolutely lessen the burden of stress. People will be much more able to follow your pre-decided structure and wishes when you have a plan ready. People are comforted and feel supported when there’s a memorial plan with structure to follow. The plan can be somewhat flexible for remaining loved ones. But having something as a guideline can be enormously helpful in reducing stress from those already under emotional turmoil. For a memorial agenda, there’s plenty to consider. In this blog, I’ll cover some things I’ve used in previous memorials. You may want to exclude some things, change or add something personally meaningful to you or loved ones. Memorial services may be as distinctive and unique as the people in the world. When planning your memorial agenda, think about what is meaningful both to you and surviving loved ones. MEMORIAL SETUP CONSIDERATIONS In my blog, How To Ease Burden By Your Loving Preparation, I offer examples of how my father’s memorial plan gave each of our remaining family members a role we could manage. Further, he discussed this plan with each of us multiple times before he died, so we had an idea about our part ahead of time. Even though no one is ever ready for the death of a loved one, my father’s diligence and communication allowed each of us to prepare ourselves to a degree for his memorial. Knowing anything about what to expect is useful to those in a stressful situation. As I offer things to consider for a memorial agenda, I take the perspective of not relying on a funeral home or religious staff, to allow for more variety of spiritual and religious preferences as well as financial situations. However, even if you’re paying for funeral services, some things may not be automatically included, or you may need to specify your preferences. Particularly if you’re not paying a funeral service or relying on the staff of a religious facility, you (or surviving loved ones) are the only one who can decide what you’d like included in the service. The following ideas are in no particular order, are not inclusive, and there may be things you’d like omitted. But these will at least give you an idea of things that go on behind a smoothly run memorial. I hope this will prompt your personal thoughts about the situation. CONSIDER ASSIGNING ROLES & TEAMWORK You may want to consider assigning each person a function and/or teams, to assure that no single person is overburdened by tasks. Think about the personalities and skillsets of your surviving loved ones to coordinate memorial tasks appropriately within each person’s wheelhouse. Someone whose job involves public speaking or facilitating others may be more comfortable giving a eulogy than a shy, introverted person. Perhaps that quiet person is good at crafts, and would be more comfortable placed in charge of creating a photo display board for the lobby or front of the room. Giving attention to these details may be significant and meaningful to those grieving the loss of a loved one. Involving each person with a task or role suitable to them and their relationship to the deceased gives a sense of closure and comfort for all involved. HOW TO SETUP THE ROOM You will need to sort out how to setup the room for the memorial. Pending the place of the memorial, you’ll need to estimate how many chairs will be needed. Decide whether a row of space between chairs will be necessary to accommodate people sharing eulogies, performances, for observing flower and/or photo displays, or an open casket viewing, and so on. Since my father opted for cremation, we didn’t have (nor pay for) an open casket for viewing. That meant we also didn't need pallbearers, or to arrange a trip (or provide directions) from the service to a cemetery for the burial (another potential cost). Instead, his ashes were in a box at the front of the room, next to a large photo of him. For my friend’s memorial, since she practiced Buddhism, her Buddhist friends desired to setup a traditional incense-burning ritual at the front of the room. For that, the setup required two tables on either side of the row or chairs, two tablecloths, flowers in vases displayed next to her framed large photos, and incense containers. The tables were setup in front of the Buddhist prayer altar (which was provided by the Buddhist community center). We cleared a row between the chairs so people could more easily come and go to offer their prayers and incense to my friend’s eternal peace and happiness. Since my father’s service was held in my parent’s church, we didn't have to setup or provide anything other than his photo and program agenda. The seating, a podium and microphone for those sharing eulogies, a built-in sound system for recorded music, and a grand piano were already available. These are two examples to show the need to contemplate things like:
WHAT ABOUT THE MUSIC & SOUND SYSTEM? Determine what space will be used and whether there needs to be a sound system, the proper cords to play recorded music (if used), a microphone, microphone stand, podium, and any musical instruments available. If there are musicians involved, ask them what they need. Often, musicians come prepared with whatever electronic gadgets, cords or instruments are needed for their performance. But pending the performer’s experience, some do not come prepared. If they run into obstacles due to travel or time issues, they may not be able to provide these items. Plan ahead so that any performers attending have to focus only on their creative tribute to the loved one. The most common things necessary for a musical performance, recorded or live, are:
In some cases, there may be helpful people available who know how to setup the sound system, video, smartphone, laptop or musical instruments. But not always. If having a musical performance, recorded music, or microphone available for people to offer words at the memorial, the technical side is one of the most overlooked aspects of memorial planning. When or if something goes wrong with the sound system, this can add delays, and/or undue stress to those involved. Going back to assigning proper functions to each person, think about having someone good at technology or music in charge of these issues. Make sure to let them know ahead of time so they may be more prepared. Technology and musical instruments take more preparation and have more potential for glitches than anything else in the memorial service. If no one you know is qualified to handle these aspects, reach out well in advance to any staff or volunteers who may be available at the location for the memorial service. Alleviate stress for loved ones by having the names of these volunteers or staff, and the address clearly labeled in your memorial plan. In my upcoming webinar and full course, I’ll go into deeper detail, and offer more suggestions to include in a memorial agenda, including different areas of need for people behind the scenes and in front, more items for setup, memorial program design options, a memorial agenda checklist, and a memorial program planning template. If you don't know where to start with planning a memorial, JOIN MY FREE 5-Day CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING LIVE VIDEO Series! I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this blog is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! 🦋🌳I help 50+ adults, caregivers, veterans, & families explore earth-friendly🌳, cost-reducing💰ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate &/or religious involvement—& map out a personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan.❤️🌻 I provide the step by step journey to relief, peace of mind, huge cost savings, and satisfaction from getting your personalized creative memorial planned. 💰💰💰❤️🌳 🌎 Join my CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING GROUP to access my FREE video series with Reflections For You ebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/creativememorialplanning/ Recommended Reading: 5 Ways to Master Caregiver Learning Curve How To Use Self-Care To Feel Happy Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia Connect with YOURCREATIVECHORD on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  Pastel Sunset, Lexington, KY. Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
How can the dark, depressing topic of memorial planning fit in with YourCreativeChord's purpose of nurturing creativity and inspiration, you ask? How can planning a memorial possibly be inspiring and beautiful? Fostering the energy for creative inspiration relies on the balance between practicing self-care and care for others. Nurturing inspiration is rooted in compassion for both self and others. When you muster your bravery to even think about the difficult topics of loss, death and grief, much less take the caring stance to make a clear plan for it, you ultimately make things easier for you and your loved ones. What could be more caring? What could be a more inspiring legacy to leave behind? Embrace The Opportunity To Celebrate & Joyfully Inspire Others When we think of things that inspire, we often use words like calm, peace of mind, zest for life, beautiful, passion, and comfort. Just as planning ahead for anything brings peace of mind, having your ducks in a row about end-of-life issues is a way to bring comfort, peace and calm to yourself and others. Preparing in advance can also lead to an incredibly beautiful celebration of life and an event that honors your memory. How inspirational! The alternative is not thinking about it. When we deny things or hide from reality, we end up suffering far worse. You and I will experience the inevitable end that happens to everyone at some point. When you make the effort to plan, out of your love for others, you bring beauty and celebration to your life’s ending. For both yourself and surviving loved ones. Clearly, death is a difficult subject. In our culture, the topic is mostly avoided, denied, or considered far removed from positive things like creativity and inspiration. Loss and grief are the most intense kind of suffering. But we all must face these. How do we nurture ourselves through difficult moments if we avoid dealing with them? Wouldn't it be more valuable to embrace our unavoidable, end-of-life issues as an opportunity to celebrate, honor, and joyfully inspire others to live even more fully? The reason I'm creating more content offering alternatives to traditional memorials and tips for preparing memorial agendas, obituaries, and programs is because I know what it’s like without the planning there in advance. People are enormously consoled when you have something planned ahead of time and when they can follow a structure based on your wishes. A thoughtful memorial plan and structure brings serenity, comfort, a sense of closure, and even healing to those dealing with loss. Meaningful Creativity Can Be Born From Both Suffering And Joy Many people think of strategies for inspiration as always being something positive. But from my personal experience, creativity can be born from both deep suffering and great joy. Many of my most valuable and meaningful creative expressions have come from dealing head-on with loss or through my experience of grieving a loved one. This is something that anyone can do. Addressing human pain is in sync with the heartening theme for nurturing your inspiration because we all experience it and we have the potential to create value from our suffering. Dealing directly with death, whether our own or others, can be the catalyst for tremendous inspiration. It can also lead to reviving a greater spirit for living in the present moment. Facing loss can fuel our efforts to cook, volunteer, garden, work with animals, dance, write poetry or stories, journal, compose music, paint or draw. Planning ahead for your memorial offers potential for the transformation of an intensely difficult experience into one of tremendously positive value, especially if you base your plans on your compassion for those who will be left behind. The peace of mind you gain from having a plan in place to deal with memorial issues is an inspiration to those around you. In this way, you demonstrate unequivocal care for yourself and others by making things easier for everyone through your sincere effort to plan ahead. That kind of sincere effort for others is a huge spark for inspired living. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this blog is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! Recommended Reading: 5 Ways to Master Caregiver Learning Curve How To Use Self-Care To Feel Happy Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Use Nature To Reinvigorate Your Spirit Find YourCreativeChord on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedinand Facebook!  Click pic to see my Pinterest CAREGIVER SUPPORT Board! Rainbow photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins. by Jenny Leigh Hodgins, poet, writer, lyricist, composer, blogger, podcast host, entrepreneur, educator Shining like a pot of gold This light within-- My promised land. I want to hold it in the palm of my hand-- and truly understand how the years of ups and downs dramas told, tragedy, starting over, moving around built this composite of me- That when reflected upon I see as a bright, burning potential Taking misery to mission--Changing pain into credential Defined by my decision to purify my heart's vision. This brilliant treasure in my life--Glistening Jewel that I possess Emanating from the Paradise that exists inside of me-- Nonetheless, can seem so far away, I confess. Peeling away false layers of reality, I've learned to look beyond illusion like fame or fortune in society --such things are mere delusion; Fleeting, empty, yet in *fusion* with the total life, the picture whole; The truth that everything connects--from macrocosm to unique soul... Oh, Power!--that a single prayer injects into the story one person directs... and if I am the actress upon this stage, I wrestle like madness against all sorrow, in struggles and torment, I raise myself to change tomorrow To climb again, my Kilimanjaro... I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this poem is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! Recommended Articles: 5 Ways to Master Caregiver Learning Curve HOW TO USE SELF-CARE TO FEEL HAPPY HOW TO PREPARE YOUR END-OF-LIFE STORY How To Ease Burden By Your Loving Preparation Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia Connect with YOURCREATIVECHORD on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  Click pic to see my Pinterest CAREGIVER SUPPORT Board! Rainbow photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins.  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins  Photo © 2019 Jenny Leigh Hodgins By Jenny Leigh Hodgins All goes onward and outward. . . and nothing collapses, And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier. —Walt Whitman My father passed away from cancer 5 years ago. Before he got cancer, he diligently put together his will and last wishes. He gave each of his children and my mother the book with his end-of-life plans in it. He frequently bugged each of us to create our own will and prepare our final wishes. My father’s love for his family was exemplified by his preparation. He knew what he was doing for us. We had experienced the trauma of losing my brother in a car accident in 2004. John was 11 days short of turning 29 years of age. Understandably, this impacted all of us deeply. Twenty-nine is not a time you expect death! Planning for my brother’s memorial and dealing with his estate was a challenge complicated by the shock and grief of loss. In contrast, my father had prepared in advance to designate everything he wanted us to have, and a role for each of us to play in his memorial. He chose the exact music, poetry and quotes he wanted us to use. I’m a pianist, so he had me perform his favorite music, Debussy’s Clair de Lune. He asked my flutist sister to perform. Other family members were assigned things to read aloud. As my father was a veteran, my nephew-in-law led the military flag ceremony. My father’s care manifested clearly through his deliberate arrangements. He had thought through the details so we would not have to. He chose the place (my parents’ church), the emcee and faith leader (their minister), honorary pallbearers (friends and extended family), and everything on the memorial agenda. He took the burden of having to think about these things off our shoulders. You may have noticed that my family is multi-talented. My father assigned things he knew were in the wheelhouse of each person. But it doesn’t matter if you include performances in your memorial plan. What matters is having a plan for your memorial. This isn’t a topic limited to caregivers. As my family knows, death is something that can happen to anyone at any time. You may not think it's necessary to discuss. But trust me, you need to hear this. Even if you don’t want a memorial ceremony at all. I'm wearing my big girl pants now because I know it’s important to: • Do the hard things. • Face the difficult. • Feel the fear and do what you need to do anyway. • Initiate the difficult conversations because something needs to be said. And talking about death is the worst, most unappealing topic. Before you click away to escape this conversation, I encourage you to keep reading. Considering your memorial plan is important if you care about anyone else in your life. Most people don't think about this until it's too late. I know from personal experience that if you don't think about this, it will be much harder on you or your loved ones than you want it to be. If you ponder things before they’re needed, you may at least be less devastated by the added stress of memorial planning. It’s an unpleasant conversation. But if you aim well ahead, you or those who lose you won’t have that extra strain. And it’s a real burden I wish upon no one. I’ve been through scenarios after a loved one passed away, where no plan was in place. This left survivors with the double-edged sword of dealing with both the grieving process, and trying to guess at how to handle memorial plans in a way that best honored the deceased. This is hard enough to think about on a good day. But complicated by grief, or, sometimes a common situation where surviving loved ones are not in harmony with each other, or unable to function altogether, and you have a recipe for suffering all around. I want you and your loved ones to avoid that. Your Compassionate Preparation Is For Others The loving thing to do is make a plan. Tell all your loved ones what it is. You may even ask for their input about what would be meaningful for them. Once you’re gone, it’s not about you anymore. It’s about providing the most comforting transition for your surviving loved ones. When thinking about your final wishes, keep this in mind. Everyone will be blown away by loss. I’ve been through the loss of loved ones many times. I’ve helped plan memorial services for more than a dozen people. This is why I know the impact of having versus not having a memorial plan. [Helpful Hint: Your local Hospice provides FREE grief counseling.] How To Plan Ahead For The Worst & Relieve Your Stress I’ve seen how grief deeply affects others. I know it’s important to talk now about things you may need to consider. Best to prepare for a memorial before dealing with grief, as grieving can make it highly difficult to function. Preparation Takes A Load Off Of You Losing a loved one is made a little less painful for you and/or your surviving loved ones if you prepare in advance. Better to have a general plan to handle the worst, than have no plan when that worst moment hits you like a brick. It’s gonna hit you like a brick anyway. But at least with a plan, your grief will not be further compounded. You or your loved ones may also avoid paying more than necessary for services because currently you are not slammed with grief and can function to think about things without bias. I want to ease your burden with this conversation. I don’t care whether you want a memorial service or not. Nor do I care about the cost, the presentation, what you want included, where or who will be involved. Knowing what’s important to you regarding memorial plans for your loved ones, or in preparation for those who will survive you, is the critical point here. Whether To Include Or Exclude Societal Traditions “The average funeral costs between $7,000 and $9,000. This includes viewing and burial, basic service fees, transporting remains to a funeral home, a casket, embalming, and other preparation. The average cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,000 to $7,000. These costs do not include a cemetery, monument, marker, or other things like flowers.” —Lincoln Heritage Funeral Advantage According to Policy Genius, funeral costs have risen by a whopping 227.1% in the last 30 years, and total costs average between $18,000 - $28,000. Think About Ways To Save Money & Keep Things Simple Funeral arrangements have developed as a societal tradition. From ceremonies to burials, there are many things to consider. Knowing your options may lead you to decide to include or exclude some or all of these traditions. You, not a funeral company or your religious institution, are in charge of what happens. Your life insurance policy (if you opt for one) may cover some or all funeral costs. If you pay a funeral business for your end-of-life services, they may or may not cover some of the things mentioned here (or future blogs in this series). They will definitely charge you money for all their services. Some religious institutions hold funeral services, and the religious staff or ministry may have their specific ideas for how they’re handled. You may have limited funds, making it difficult or impossible to afford paid funeral services. You may also prefer more freedom to control memorial plans than your religious institution may approve. Bear these points in mind as you consider your ultimate wishes. I cannot emphasize enough that grief can make it challenging for you to be clear-headed about memorial services. Since a funeral home is a business, be aware that they probably won’t be guiding you toward the least expensive options. If you don’t care about expense, or if appearances are more important to you, you'll be in a good position for the inevitable presentation of more expensive options; embalming, an elaborate casket, grave site plots, tombstones, the cost of the burial, ushers available at the memorial ceremony, etc. If you opt for cremation, be prepared for a pricey selection of urns, and the cost of a presentation of the urn at the memorial service (in essence, the urn will sit on top of a larger box). Taking The Environment Into Account If formality is less important to you, or if finances are an issue, consider the fact that everything buried will disintegrate. There are far less expensive choices such as opting out of embalming, caskets, burial, tombstones, or even urns. When choosing cremation, embalming may be omitted. You may decide instead of buying an urn, to transfer remaining ashes to a container of your own, or scatter them as part of a memorial ceremony. Another point to recognize is the decrease of available space for burial plots. Concern about protecting our environment is another point in favor of memorial plan simplicity. For this reason, my father chose cremation without an urn. My mother was given his remains in a large box. Our family met at the location where my father had requested his ashes be scattered. We took turns dissipating ashes to honor my father’s wishes. My niece bought uniform glass jars for each of us to respectfully preserve some of the ashes. This lessened the expense for my family and allowed us to choose our own way for closure and as a tribute to my father. No matter which services or presentation style you choose, whether having a plan for funding your memorial, additional funeral services, opting for the simplicity of cremation without an urn, or simply spelling out your final wishes in a will, your thoughtful preparation will take the burden off surviving loved ones. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this blog is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! 🦋🌳I help 50+ adults, caregivers, veterans, & families explore earth-friendly🌳, cost-reducing💰ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate &/or religious involvement—& map out a personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan. ❤️🌻 I provide the step by step journey to relief, peace of mind, huge cost savings, and satisfaction from getting your personalized creative memorial planned. 💰💰💰❤️🌳 🌎 Join my CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING GROUP to access my FREE video series with Reflections For You ebook. Recommended Reading: 5 Ways to Master Caregiver Learning Curve HOW TO USE SELF-CARE TO FEEL HAPPY Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia Connect with YOURCREATIVECHORD on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!
 Pets boost wellness. Photo of her mother, Minva Hodgins and Myster, by JL Hodgins.
All content, music, videos, photos © 2018 by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
Listen to the Podcast here. Self-care is a catch-phrase often used to address caregiver support. As a new caregiver for my mother, I struggle with keeping my balance between my responsibilities for her and my entrepreneurial and creative tasks. I get so busy with things that I forget to take care of myself. Pay Attention To Your Self-Care Signs Fortunately, there are signs that help me pay attention. When I start to get negative, complain, feel overwhelmed or doubt, I know it's an indicator that I need to carve out some time for self-care. As a creator, when I feel empty of ideas, I take that as a signal that it is time to take a break from work. I'm still practicing self-care habits. Honestly, it's one of the hardest things for me to grasp. I'm used to running full-speed ahead, stopping for nothing until the tasks at hand are complete. They're never complete, either. I run around like a hamster in circles, tending to one thing after another until I start to feel the signs. Does this sound familiar? I'm learning to start paying attention to these and...stop. Taking Care of Yourself Is Not Just For You There are plenty of stressors on the caregiving path, making it crucial to be in good shape for myself and others. As I've quickly discovered, being a caregiver is not for the faint of heart. Being a caregiver requires stamina. (The same can be said for being an entrepreneur and creative professional!) Taking care of my heart keeps me in good condition to be there for my mother. This is the best possible 'why' to justify self-care. If you're like me, you struggle with having yourself be the reason for self-care. It may seem indulgent or selfish. But the reality is that your loved one depends on you, so as caregiver you want to be in the best shape to do your best. So start thinking that everything you do for yourself, for your balance, for your health and wellness, is directly fueling the best care for your loved one. Doing Nothing Is A BIG Something One of the most encouraging things I've learned from devouring online caregiver and entrepreneur blogs recently, is that doing nothing is actually really something. Research has proven that when people take breaks, they refuel creativity and are more productive at work. In Secret to Increased Productivity: Taking Time, Entrepreneur magazine writer Joe Robinson wrote, "People who engage in respite activities during workday recovery breaks have higher levels of positive affect (observable expression of emotion) after the breaks, a study led by John Trougakos at the University of Toronto found." The Tesla innovator, Elon Musk's Chief Automotive Designer, Franz von Holzhausen followed the premise that "all work with no downtime does not equal more productivity. Your body needs rest and time away from work to recharge and attack each day anew." Having Fun Opens Your Creativity Historian, Teacher, Curator, Sarah Elizabeth Lewis' book, The Rise: Creativity The Gift of Failure, and the Search for Mastery, suggests that downtime and fun are "the improbable foundations of a creative human endeavor." The book looks closely at creativity, sharing "narratives about" current and past creatives; writers, inventors, artists, choreographers, entrepreneurs. Lewis observes that there is so much value in 'play' that it's considered "essential for innovation." Avoiding Burnout Protects Your Loved One This is monumental for caregivers like you and me. We often think we can't stop helping or doing, for fear of consequences. But the reality is that caregiver burnout happens faster to those of us who don't take time off for ourselves. You and I are no good to our loved ones if we've burned out. Like an airplane emergency, it is imperative we place the oxygen mask on ourselves first, so we can better help those around us. Balance For Yourself And Others As an SGI-USA Buddhist for 32+ years, I'm aware of the Buddhist concept, 'practice for oneself and others,' or 'jigyo keta' in Japanese. For years, I interpreted that to mean that I should contribute to others in order to overcome my selfishness or ego. Sometimes that may be true. Like how volunteering for a soup kitchen can get me out of my funk during holidays when I'm alone or after a loss. But I now realize that the balance of practice for self and others is not about sacrificing myself for others. It is not about being a martyr. Rather, it is about the equality of self and others. I cannot help others if I'm neglecting myself. I have to remind myself that taking time off doesn't mean I'm falling behind. It means I'm filling up my tank again, so I can move forward refreshed, full of energy and a renewed spirit. 4 Ways To Manage Stress Although the following Entrepreneur magazine excerpt refers to business owners, the idea to find ways to vent your stress is equally applicable to caregivers; "Some successful people exercise to blow off steam. Others unplug for a night to reset their minds. Writing works wonders for many people. Journaling your daily experiences is a way to express your dreams and your frustrations without the anxiety of wondering what others might think. Many people draft cathartic emails without clicking the "Send" button. It allows them to vent and air the words they'd really like to say." 6 Best Ways To Refresh Your Wellness 1. REST. Caregivers are no good to loved ones if depleted. So, the first way to soothe your soul, is to take a break. Taking time off helps you maintain balance. 2. NATURE. For me, getting my nature fix helps me just breathe and relax again. Getting out in nature is great therapy. There's something about the vibrations in nature, the fresh air, the beauty of a landscape, the authenticity of wild animals, that calms the mind. 3. EXERCISE. Taking a short walk outdoors can boost your productivity and your mood. It doesn't take a huge workout. Just a chance to move your body a bit, and take in the sights around you will do wonders for your energy level. Not to mention your heart health. 4. CUTE ANIMALS. Speaking of the heart, wellness coach, Elizabeth Scott states that just watching photos or videos online of cute animals has been scientifically proven to relax and rejuvenate people. Taking care of your pet has an even more positive impact on your wellness, raising endorphins, lowering blood pressure, and relieving stress. 5. MUSIC. Listening to relaxing music is calming. Listening to upbeat music is energizing. Studying or playing music has health and wellness benefits that are well-documented. Get your music groove on to boost your mind, body and spirit. 6. MEDITATE OR CHANT. The health and wellness benefits of meditation are well-documented and scientifically proven. Taking a few minutes to an hour daily to meditate lowers your stress, improves your emotional state, helps you sleep, lowers your blood pressure, improves your memory and more. There are plenty of options on how to meditate, including chanting, nature walks, being silent with your thoughts, reading, and so on. My regular daily Buddhist practice gives me positive energy, focus, hope and a wider range of compassion for others. My mother never hesitates to say, "Go chant!" if I exhibit signs of stress or negativity. We laugh at that together, but in honesty, it proves how powerful meditation can be toward keeping one's cup full and balanced. Take A Moment Just For You I'd like to offer you the gift of music, nature and creativity with my homemade music video below. It has all the elements research has proven to soothe your soul. The beauty of nature scenes, the sound of birds, the wind blowing gently, my classical-based piano music, all in a short video. It is my sincere hope that watching this video brings you a moment of stress relief, calmness, and a refreshed spirit. I hope it inspires you to stop your carousel, and take some time off to care for your spiritual wellness. This may function as a kind of musical meditation for you. Or, it may motivate your creative energy to start something new. Maybe it encourages you to take a walk today in the great outdoors. But doing something for yourself, making time for self-care, is ultimately what will fuel your best self. Self-care is a proven way to manage stress and recharge to put your best foot forward. Share your self-care determinations, tips, or questions in the comments below!
Click on the play button below to
watch my winter scene nature video and hear my original piano music, "Karmic Thread".
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MEDICAL BENEFITS FROM SELF-CARE According to an article published by The Pharmaceutical Journal, “Self-care has been defined by the Department of Health as ‘the care taken by individuals towards their own health and well-being — including the care extended to the family and the community.’ The definition is broad and encompasses the actions required for people to maintain good physical and mental health, to meet their social and psychological needs and prevent illness or accidents.” Self-care decreases numbers of medical visits, improves medical consultations and implementation of medicinal treatments. But self-care goes far beyond these medical improvements. SELF-CARE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD When you practice self-care, you feel good about yourself. Others pick up on your positive vibe, and that impacts your relationships. People who neglect themselves tend to feel lower self-esteem and negative emotions. This affects health overall. Taking care of yourself has a direct influence on others in your life. When you feel good, you can do better for others. The basics of self-care are critical to maintaining emotional, mental balance and good health. These include proper sleep, healthy eating habits, exercise, prayer or other spiritual activities. Regular self-care helps you manage stress. Simply taking a break to be alone, or experience nature, or have a soothing spa-like treatment as simple as a hot bubble bath are ways to lower stress levels and increase positive emotions. When you feel good about yourself, you attract positivity from others, too. As Elizabeth Scott, MS, states, “A simple but often overlooked form of self-care is having a self-pampering experience on a regular basis in your own home." She suggests simple in-home spa-like treatments, like taking a bath, deep conditioning your hair, clipping or painting your nails, or getting a massage (by a masseuse or an electronic massage device). CREATING A PERSONAL SPA OASIS  My Saltwater Pool Oasis, Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins To better balance my life, one of my best decisions while working as a Florida public school teacher was creating an oasis for myself. I had a small Florida yard with a privacy fence and gates I had installed. I used that space to create my beloved tropical garden. My garden produced Monarch, Swallowtail, Gulf Fritillary butterflies, pineapples, herbs, Golden Rain Trees, Bougainvillea, and myriad flowers. Gardening in the Florida heat inspired me to get a small swimming pool installed, where I could enjoy my garden view. My backyard swimming pool was an incredible oasis. A place where I could unwind, let go of daily stress, quiet my busy mind and chill. It was one of the best investments I made because it gave me a reason to take care of myself. Cooling off after a long workday was therapeutic for me. NATURE REJUVENATES I enjoyed the silence and privacy of having a moment all to myself. Relaxing in my private swimming pool allowed me to experience nature at its finest. Lying on my float, I absorbed the vast, stillness of the blue skies. Watching puffs of white clouds floating leisurely above me slowed my typically fast-paced thoughts. Instead, I focused on the beauty of the universe. All photos by Jenny Leigh Hodgins. All rights reserved. THERAPEUTIC TROPICAL PARADISE I swam like a lazy mermaid, mesmerized by the world of color and peacefulness in my garden. I watched gorgeous Monarch butterflies flit from tropical milkweed plant leaves, drop egg babies, circle around invisible pathways above my little yard, and repeat dozens of times. I observed the progress of those eggs as they became full-fledged caterpillars chomping those milkweed plants down to empty green stems. I saw the astounding metamorphic graduation of green chrysalides; darkening from black to translucent with golden orange and black, until crumpled newborn butterflies pushed their withered shells open, emerging as upside down shiny jewels. I was even able to coax newly eclosed butterflies to climb my fingers until I decided to place them on a hibiscus or lantana bloom. Or, sometimes, with a flick of my wrist, spur new flights into motion. What a joy. All photos by Jenny Leigh Hodgins. All rights reserved. HOW I CREATED A SALTWATER SPA EXPERIENCE I replaced my chlorine pump with a saltwater pump. This allowed me to avoid heavy chemicals and save money by using only salt. (See my blog and video on how to do that here.) The feel of the pure saltwater-infused pool was like physical therapy to my aching body after a long, hot day. Submerging slowly into the softness of pure water melted my daily stress into oblivion. Relaxing my tight muscles by a dip in my private pool was a great source of relaxation and rejuvenation. MAKE TIME FOR SELF-CARE Getting a moment away from the noisy, busy, rapid-speed of daily life is not easy. Many of us don’t even try to fit in self-care because we’re so busy chasing our tails to keep up with the spinning world. But, from having my private swimming pool and garden oasis, I kept my sanity.  Tropical garden oasis. Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins It detoxed my mind, body and spirit. Having that time in nature to relax in a quiet, beautiful setting gave me balance. Being able to take in the beautiful sights in my garden while silently resting in my pool was an enormous gift. It taught me the necessity of taking care of myself. You don’t have to create a saltwater swimming pool to bring self-care into your life. Besides, everyone doesn’t live in a tropical climate. I’ve moved from Florida back to Kentucky to be caregiver for my mother while following my entrepreneurial dreams. So, the wisdom of self-care is calling my name once again. Taking this moment to recall the beauty of my Florida garden and swimming pool oasis brings me the joy of reliving my homemade spa experience. Sometimes envisioning and taking a breath is all it takes to bring a bit of balance back into your life. What are some ways you can apply self-care in your daily life? BUY products to create your summer pool oasis here. Check out my Self Care Resources page! Recommended Articles: Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia  DIY Saltwater Swimming Pool Garden Oasis, Florida. Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins This article was published first on LivingWell60Plus magazine  Children singing holiday music. by Jenny Leigh Hodgins Bringing music to a retirement home is one of the most gratifying ways to be of service during the holiday season. Performing music for seniors has been a rewarding experience for me. Retirement residents were wonderfully appreciative audiences when I performed as a solo vocalist and pianist. Singing original compositions, the standards from the 1930 to the 1960s and familiar holiday songs evoked equal measures of joy, animation and tears from aging audiences. During my years as a music teacher and chorus director, I led my students in holiday performances at local retirement centers. I wanted to impress on them the idea that musical performance is about communication and making a positive impact on others, not just being in the spotlight. It was a multi-point learning experience for all. It served as a community service event for young singers. It met the national music teaching standards for providing students practice with musical skills, repertoire and ensemble performance. Most significantly, it brought holiday joy to the audience of residents and family members. Students received positive emotional responses as they saw how their music affected retirement home residents. The holidays are a perfect time to reap the benefits of providing musical community service for retirement home residents. Gather ’Round Gather your children and invite their friends and parents. Pull participants from your kids’ soccer, dance or softball teams or talk to your religious or community youth leaders. They may step up to help you organize and chaperone the fun. If you’re not accustomed to being surrounded by a large number of children, have a few adult chaperones by your side. Children need a measure of structure and discipline to balance all the excitement. Song Selection Ask the participants for their favorite holiday songs. Depending on your religious background and/or preference, songs may be traditional or secular, incorporating various faiths and cultures and/or blend a bit of each. A quick Google, Yahoo or YouTube search or a look through a music application such as Amazon Music or iTunes or radio sites such as Pandora or Spotify will yield plenty of song ideas. Above all, select songs everyone enjoys. A fairly new holiday, Kwanzaa, invites the use of African American music, using rhythm instruments such as rain sticks, shakers, djembe and gathering drums. An easy way to incorporate these instruments is to have a few chorus members or even the audience tap the beat during the singing. Jingle bells are another fun instrument to add, but do so sparingly, as a few can overpower voices. One of my favorite personal holiday music memories was when my parents, brother, sisters and niece were singing and I pushed the drum beat button on my portable keyboard to create a steady loop of rhythm. We started rapping the words to the songs. This spontaneous idea can be incorporated into any holiday song – just speak the lyrics in the same rhythmic pattern as the singable version. This takes pressure off those who have difficulty matching pitch. Rehearsal Organization Organize the order of the songs for your performance. Choose enough songs for a 30- to 60-minute concert. Arrange them by tempo, mood, style and familiarity. Once you’ve selected your songs, use a smart phone music app to create accompaniment. Use a portable Bluetooth speaker for added volume. Your group may want to sing a cappella like traditional carolers – without accompaniment. Practice a few run-throughs before your performance. This will reveal pacing issues that may warrant a few tweaks with song order. Find Your Most Appreciative Audience If you know someone living in a retirement home, start there or do an online search for local facilities. Call the activity director at each facility and tell them you’d like to bring a group out for a bit of holiday singing fun. Most activity directors are thrilled to have guests visit residents. Encourage the audience to sing along and mingle with them afterwards. The joyful holiday spirit will last long after the last note fades away. SHARE this with others who may benefit from this info! Thank you!  Author, Composer, Enterpreneur Jenny Leigh Hodgins and her mother, Minva Gayle Hodgins, 2017 This piece originally appeared at TheCaregiverSpace.org Listen to the podcast here. By Jenny Leigh Hodgins I segued into the role of caregiver for my aging parent quicker than expected. Last year, I left my 30-year career, and sold my Florida home to move back to Kentucky as my mother’s caregiver. I planned to be in place well ahead of need, while I transitioned to working remotely as a freelancer. 1. LIFE’S CURVEBALLS AND SLEDGEHAMMERS Things don’t always go according to plan. Life hits with big moments whenever it damn well feels like it. Like many adult children, I face the bittersweet reality of being a caregiver to my parent before either of us are ready. I thought I’d have time to ease into the role, but sometimes health issues pop up or wallop like a sledgehammer. What a wake-up call, being there when Mom is ill, pained face, weak and trembling, incoherent and out-of-it. Alone in that moment, feeling the full burden of being responsible for her well-being can be an enormously scary place. Facing the impending reality of that final chapter in the cycle of life is not for sissies. The foreign world of medical terms, insurance and co-pays, increasingly hectic medical appointment schedule, and daily living responsibilities can add up to an overwhelming mountain of pressure. I hadn’t anticipated how my own daily rhythm would be derailed, interrupted or flat-out sacrificed at times. 2. GET AHEAD OF THE CURVE The learning curve comes swiftly, so I’ve found it best to get my game plan in place, and build my life-state to be ready to play. I’ve discovered the importance of taking care of myself. Putting that oxygen mask on myself first enables me to ward against getting overwhelmed or sick, and be better prepared emotionally, spiritually and practically as caregiver. 3. GET YOUR GAME ON That means I have to protect my daily rhythm. To be effective in my work as a writer and composer, as a caregiver, and more balanced in my wellness, I have to establish ‘me time’. I rise early to pray, eat and have uninterrupted workflow when I function at my best. I schedule exercise later in the day to maintain my energy. I use my smartphone calendar app to send me alerts so I stay, or get back on, task. Mapping out my own daily schedule and preserving it as best I can keeps me on top of things and less overwhelmed when Mom’s needs arise. 4. PLAN TO BE THERE IN ADVANCE I’m grateful to have already settled in, so I’m here when Mom needs me. Not having to rush from another state, or even across town, or leave my workplace, is one load of worry off our minds. My being in place takes some burden off my other family members who don’t have the liberty of leaving jobs, children or properties. 5. TEAM HUDDLE Keeping open communication with Mom and family members about her health, financial and social needs, as well as legal plans, distributes the caregiving load and assures Mom that we are onboard and unified to uphold her wishes. Getting things in place beforehand helps alleviate worry from all. This attempt to keep all in the loop brings us closer in harmony to one another. For the caregiver, that support from family team players is indispensable to peace of mind, providing further strength for the tasks ahead. 6. KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW Getting to know my mother’s daily rhythm gives me knowledge useful for effective emergency response. Being familiar with her usual mannerisms, daily lifestyle, energy, verbal and cognitive responses makes it easy to recognize when something isn’t right. Paying attention to symptoms early on allows early detection and an upper hand in maintaining her wellness. Knowing her doctors, appointments, medications, and health issues is powerful ammunition against mishaps, and preventative against health problems that could run undetected. ENDGAME The role of caregiver can present itself sooner than anticipated, bringing unexpected, new challenges. But I’m finding that having a game plan, a great team that communicates well, a strategy for maintaining my wellness, and tackling challenges with gusto allows me to respond well even to the hardest curveball. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this blog is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! Recommended Articles: Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia You can also find me on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook! RESOURCES: Caregiver Smartphone Apps: Best Calendar Apps 10 Daily Apps to Help Caregivers Best Apps for Caregivers Free Downloadable Forms: Power of Attorney Form Will Form Advance Directive Forms National Association of Attorneys General 202-326-6000 Email: feedback@naag.org  Deceased members from Nicholasville High School Class of 1958. By Jenny Leigh Hodgins This story was published in Jessamine Journal August 2, 2018. Listen to this as an audio podcast by clicking here. My newly acquired caregiver role includes being chauffeur for Mom’s health appointments and evening social functions. Last night, I drove Mom to her 60th Nicholasville High School reunion (Jessamine County, Kentucky). Despite torrential thunderstorms, a tornado watch, flash flood warnings, power outages around the city, and having an odd, eye-oriented headache for the two days prior, Mom would not be deterred from attending. I drove us past dead traffic lights, waited through bumper-to-bumper, stilled traffic, and passed half a dozen felled trees and debris along the way. My cranky, neurotic complaints about the weather’s potential for disaster were ignored. Her optimism sprang eternal, as she proclaimed the weather ‘is moving away from us.’ We arrived at the community clubhouse event to see that fifty-four of the last class from the original Nicholasville High School had been distilled to the attendance of thirteen. Thirteen highly determined seniors at the ripe age of 78, some with oxygen tanks, wheelchairs, and one with an arm in a sling from a recent fall. I took iPhone photos of Mom happily greeting, hugging and laughing with her classmates from 1958 (and a commemorative group photo at the end of the evening). Listening to stories of who they had lost, husbands, wives, brothers, each gone ahead to the after-life, knocked me over the head with the reason Mom would not miss this event even for a tornado. Mortality loomed over the heart of everyone in the room, including mine. The current chapter of aging, sickness and death was written on the faces of every senior there, as their stories of health issues and loss were shared over dinner. Yet, there was a palpable strength and humorous tone in the atmosphere, too. Jokes were made about the phase of life “when getting up to go to work has changed to getting up to go to the doctor.” Boisterous laughter abounded from tables of grey or balding folks recounting days of their high school adventures. I put on my cheerful, brave face to absorb the scene, though internally my heart was struck by the grim truth of death’s inevitability. I ached to see the physical pain of some of the attendees, those in wheelchairs, struggling to chew food, those who had to sit down to save energy to speak. The sorrow was visible of those who, like my mother, had lost their beloved spouse after 50 years together. What these aging citizens were facing, some completely alone, others merely waiting to be the next to lose their loved one, was the elephant in the room that stomped on my heart. As a new caregiver, my emotions sometimes get overwhelmed with things I hadn’t anticipated; seeing the plight of the aging so closely, handling Mom’s unexpected, urgent health issues, viewing the reality of dwindling comrades from her youthful days. I’m torn between my relief that I’m here for my mother, and the fact that my own destiny as a single woman without children may lead to my being alone in that golden, final chapter of life. I’ve begun to think about things that never entered my mind before I hit fifty. My youth was filled with so much to do that I never considered how life slows down for those past retirement. Though I’m not retired—in fact, I’m plunging head-first into launching a second career I always wanted—the tempo of my life has begun to move in a dramatic rubato in sync with my mother’s life issues. This awakens me to appreciate things on a deeper level; the fortune of having a family member to live with, friends to talk to, health that is reasonably managed or at least attended to when not, the few remaining relatives around to share life stories and short luncheons. These are small, yet profound moments of joy for my mother and her peers. I get it; the tenacity and inner strength of my mother’s generation comes from surviving everything. As one of Mom’s 1958 classmates said, quoting a poem, “Love like you’ve never loved before.” They all know firsthand that the opportunity is fleeting. I got Mom in the car and pulled away just before the horrendous rainstorm pelted violently against my car. I fought to see the road ahead and drive carefully until we made our way safely back home. Sometimes fighting through the storm is worth it. *** Feel free to SHARE this with others who may benefit from this info! Thank you! I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this blog is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! Recommended Articles: 5 Ways to Master Caregiver Learning Curve HOW TO USE SELF-CARE TO FEEL HAPPY HOW TO PREPARE YOUR END-OF-LIFE STORY How To Ease Burden By Your Loving Preparation Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia Connect with YOURCREATIVECHORD on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!       CENTER BOTTOM PHOTO:
Back left to right: Ann Thompson Nicholson, Martin Lowery, Charles Burton, John V. Carpenter, Hugh Logan Scott III, Ashley Moss, Front left to right: Linda Cobb Downing, Brenda Carter, Phyllis Miller Preston, Joann Cobb Giles, Judy Royse Cooper, Minva Gayle Morgan Hodgins, Marion Williams Not pictured: Ursula Land Lamb |
CAREGIVERIn my Caregiver blogs, you'll find I understand the internal struggles and daily stress as a caregiver juggling entrepreneurial life. Archives
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