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Are you fearful of the End of Life conversation?
Watch my LIVE video to get FOUR STEPS you need to take in preparation for your most critical moment.
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
Are you fearful of starting the End of Life conversation? I get it. Death is a taboo topic. We wanna LIVE! But are you able to live fully and mindfully if you haven’t prepared yourself or loved ones for a defining and crucial moment? Follow these 4 STEPS to start a plan for your most crucial moment: 1. Start the conversation. 2. Share your ideas for your creative memorial plan—how to handle remains, where/contact info/payment plan, a Goodbye Ritual (earthy to celebrations of life with a full memorial agenda) 3. Ask for your loved ones’ wishes/preferences/feedback to personalize a meaningful memorial plan. 4. Get these details written and ready The results will be a tremendous relief, peace of mind, a sense of accomplishment, and a lasting gift of your love to those who mean the most —because YOU made the difficult decisions so THEY won’t have to. I help 50+ adults, caregivers, veterans, & families explore earth-friendly, cost-reducing ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate &/or religious involvement—& map out a personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan. 
Join Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group to attend my upcoming SUNSET SUMMIT, from October 26 -30, 2020.
You'll learn about alternatives to traditional funerals and end of life plans that are more gentle, comforting, cost-reducing, and planet-friendly. SUNSET SUMMIT will feature a variety of experts offering ways for transforming your Golden Chapter of life with earth-friendly, personalized, cost-reducing, and meaningful end of life services and support. We'll have LIVE presentations from experts throughout the 5-day event. You'll hear from death educators, transition doulas, and grief therapists. You'll gain educational information on support for caregivers, a natural cemetery within a 41-acre conservation sanctuary (Natural Burial Site), and more earth-friendly, gentler alternatives to traditional end of life planning. SUNSET SUMMIT will ONLY be available to Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group members. Join now by clicking the image above or the button below.
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by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
As a caregiver for my senior mom, we recently updated her End Of Life plan. I helped Mom change from a corporate funeral prepaid plan to an alternative that saved her THOUSANDS and is more in line with her personal values and beliefs. What I learned: I see the itemized breakdown of corporate costs as extravagant and mainly lining corporate pockets w profit—straight out of my Mom’s pocket—and people like her. I’ll admit that a pre-plan MIGHT save you money if you’re going the full traditional funeral route; caskets, corporate facilities for visitations and receptions, transportation like hearses and limousines, graveside burials, etc. The truth is that the average traditional corporate funeral costs in the USA run between $8-$25K depending on where you live. The pre-paid policy option claims to save you money by locking in the price against inflation. But these preplanned policies are more costly than necessary and definitely more expensive than the alternatives that I help you explore as your Creative Memorial Planning Coach and within my Creative Memorial Planning Facebook Group. Let me paint a clear picture: After looking through Mom’s itemized prepaid plan she’d previously arranged through corporate funeral, I recognized that a prepaid policy costs two to three times more than the ACTUAL cost of the services requested (depending on the services opted for). Corporate funerals help keep death a mystery so people don’t readily ask the right questions. Most people get easily overwhelmed by the topic of death due to emotion and spiritual beliefs--and therefore willingly pay premium fees for corporate funeral staff to handle it. There are often what I call ‘blanket fees’ that are just pure gravy for corporate funeral-- in addition to the actual itemized services and products you opt for--and you will *pay additional* fees beyond this blanket fee for each of these itemized services and products. I get it —corporate funerals are there for profit. They’ve got to keep their lights on—so that expense falls directly on you and YOUR pocketbook. The more you opt for, the more they stand to gain. But end of life planning doesn’t need to break your bank account or deplete your pocketbook! As your Creative Memorial Planning Coach, I can help you with that! Instead of the excessive cost or the abrupt and impersonal customs of the corporate funeral route—here’s what I offer you:
My program is a two-month hybrid self-study and one on one coaching program—with video tutorials, templates, checklists, and my Reflections For You workbook as a supportive guide. I work through every detail with you at *your own pace* to cover the issues of most importance to you—within a two-month period. I help you map out your creative memorial plan within two months--so your loved ones don’t have to think about it in their most vulnerable moment. Imagine how you’ll feel knowing that you’ve got your end of life plan completely mapped out within two months. Everything in one place, your personal wishes and options completely customized to your personal values. You can rest assured that your surviving loved ones have nothing to figure out or pay for or deal with because you’ve got it all done for them. Get my help with exploring earth-friendly, cost-reducing ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate funeral &/or religious involvement. Relieve the burden from your loved ones by getting your creative memorial plan mapped out! Join my CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING GROUP to access my FREE video series with Reflections For You ebook!  photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, the critical thing you must consider is that a loss will impact everyone involved. Grief affects everyone’s ability to function. People normally have differing communication styles, but when under the duress of grief, even with the best of intentions, this can make things stressful. When people are faced with a loss and don’t have a memorial plan in place, this can make handling the memorial a complicated and difficult ordeal for everyone. Bearing this in mind, preparing a basic plan in advance will absolutely lessen the burden of stress. People will be much more able to follow your pre-decided structure and wishes when you have a plan ready. People are comforted and feel supported when there’s a memorial plan with structure to follow. The plan can be somewhat flexible for remaining loved ones. But having something as a guideline can be enormously helpful in reducing stress from those already under emotional turmoil. For a memorial agenda, there’s plenty to consider. In this blog, I’ll cover some things I’ve used in previous memorials. You may want to exclude some things, change or add something personally meaningful to you or loved ones. Memorial services may be as distinctive and unique as the people in the world. When planning your memorial agenda, think about what is meaningful both to you and surviving loved ones. MEMORIAL SETUP CONSIDERATIONS In my blog, How To Ease Burden By Your Loving Preparation, I offer examples of how my father’s memorial plan gave each of our remaining family members a role we could manage. Further, he discussed this plan with each of us multiple times before he died, so we had an idea about our part ahead of time. Even though no one is ever ready for the death of a loved one, my father’s diligence and communication allowed each of us to prepare ourselves to a degree for his memorial. Knowing anything about what to expect is useful to those in a stressful situation. As I offer things to consider for a memorial agenda, I take the perspective of not relying on a funeral home or religious staff, to allow for more variety of spiritual and religious preferences as well as financial situations. However, even if you’re paying for funeral services, some things may not be automatically included, or you may need to specify your preferences. Particularly if you’re not paying a funeral service or relying on the staff of a religious facility, you (or surviving loved ones) are the only one who can decide what you’d like included in the service. The following ideas are in no particular order, are not inclusive, and there may be things you’d like omitted. But these will at least give you an idea of things that go on behind a smoothly run memorial. I hope this will prompt your personal thoughts about the situation. CONSIDER ASSIGNING ROLES & TEAMWORK You may want to consider assigning each person a function and/or teams, to assure that no single person is overburdened by tasks. Think about the personalities and skillsets of your surviving loved ones to coordinate memorial tasks appropriately within each person’s wheelhouse. Someone whose job involves public speaking or facilitating others may be more comfortable giving a eulogy than a shy, introverted person. Perhaps that quiet person is good at crafts, and would be more comfortable placed in charge of creating a photo display board for the lobby or front of the room. Giving attention to these details may be significant and meaningful to those grieving the loss of a loved one. Involving each person with a task or role suitable to them and their relationship to the deceased gives a sense of closure and comfort for all involved. HOW TO SETUP THE ROOM You will need to sort out how to setup the room for the memorial. Pending the place of the memorial, you’ll need to estimate how many chairs will be needed. Decide whether a row of space between chairs will be necessary to accommodate people sharing eulogies, performances, for observing flower and/or photo displays, or an open casket viewing, and so on. Since my father opted for cremation, we didn’t have (nor pay for) an open casket for viewing. That meant we also didn't need pallbearers, or to arrange a trip (or provide directions) from the service to a cemetery for the burial (another potential cost). Instead, his ashes were in a box at the front of the room, next to a large photo of him. For my friend’s memorial, since she practiced Buddhism, her Buddhist friends desired to setup a traditional incense-burning ritual at the front of the room. For that, the setup required two tables on either side of the row or chairs, two tablecloths, flowers in vases displayed next to her framed large photos, and incense containers. The tables were setup in front of the Buddhist prayer altar (which was provided by the Buddhist community center). We cleared a row between the chairs so people could more easily come and go to offer their prayers and incense to my friend’s eternal peace and happiness. Since my father’s service was held in my parent’s church, we didn't have to setup or provide anything other than his photo and program agenda. The seating, a podium and microphone for those sharing eulogies, a built-in sound system for recorded music, and a grand piano were already available. These are two examples to show the need to contemplate things like:
WHAT ABOUT THE MUSIC & SOUND SYSTEM? Determine what space will be used and whether there needs to be a sound system, the proper cords to play recorded music (if used), a microphone, microphone stand, podium, and any musical instruments available. If there are musicians involved, ask them what they need. Often, musicians come prepared with whatever electronic gadgets, cords or instruments are needed for their performance. But pending the performer’s experience, some do not come prepared. If they run into obstacles due to travel or time issues, they may not be able to provide these items. Plan ahead so that any performers attending have to focus only on their creative tribute to the loved one. The most common things necessary for a musical performance, recorded or live, are:
In some cases, there may be helpful people available who know how to setup the sound system, video, smartphone, laptop or musical instruments. But not always. If having a musical performance, recorded music, or microphone available for people to offer words at the memorial, the technical side is one of the most overlooked aspects of memorial planning. When or if something goes wrong with the sound system, this can add delays, and/or undue stress to those involved. Going back to assigning proper functions to each person, think about having someone good at technology or music in charge of these issues. Make sure to let them know ahead of time so they may be more prepared. Technology and musical instruments take more preparation and have more potential for glitches than anything else in the memorial service. If no one you know is qualified to handle these aspects, reach out well in advance to any staff or volunteers who may be available at the location for the memorial service. Alleviate stress for loved ones by having the names of these volunteers or staff, and the address clearly labeled in your memorial plan. In my upcoming webinar and full course, I’ll go into deeper detail, and offer more suggestions to include in a memorial agenda, including different areas of need for people behind the scenes and in front, more items for setup, memorial program design options, a memorial agenda checklist, and a memorial program planning template. If you don't know where to start with planning a memorial, JOIN MY FREE 5-Day CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING LIVE VIDEO Series! I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this blog is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! 🦋🌳I help 50+ adults, caregivers, veterans, & families explore earth-friendly🌳, cost-reducing💰ALTERNATIVES to traditional funeral plans with less or -0- corporate &/or religious involvement—& map out a personalized, meaningful, creative memorial plan.❤️🌻 I provide the step by step journey to relief, peace of mind, huge cost savings, and satisfaction from getting your personalized creative memorial planned. 💰💰💰❤️🌳 🌎 Join my CREATIVE MEMORIAL PLANNING GROUP to access my FREE video series with Reflections For You ebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/creativememorialplanning/ Recommended Reading: 5 Ways to Master Caregiver Learning Curve How To Use Self-Care To Feel Happy Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia Connect with YOURCREATIVECHORD on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  Pastel Sunset, Lexington, KY. Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
How can the dark, depressing topic of memorial planning fit in with YourCreativeChord's purpose of nurturing creativity and inspiration, you ask? How can planning a memorial possibly be inspiring and beautiful? Fostering the energy for creative inspiration relies on the balance between practicing self-care and care for others. Nurturing inspiration is rooted in compassion for both self and others. When you muster your bravery to even think about the difficult topics of loss, death and grief, much less take the caring stance to make a clear plan for it, you ultimately make things easier for you and your loved ones. What could be more caring? What could be a more inspiring legacy to leave behind? Embrace The Opportunity To Celebrate & Joyfully Inspire Others When we think of things that inspire, we often use words like calm, peace of mind, zest for life, beautiful, passion, and comfort. Just as planning ahead for anything brings peace of mind, having your ducks in a row about end-of-life issues is a way to bring comfort, peace and calm to yourself and others. Preparing in advance can also lead to an incredibly beautiful celebration of life and an event that honors your memory. How inspirational! The alternative is not thinking about it. When we deny things or hide from reality, we end up suffering far worse. You and I will experience the inevitable end that happens to everyone at some point. When you make the effort to plan, out of your love for others, you bring beauty and celebration to your life’s ending. For both yourself and surviving loved ones. Clearly, death is a difficult subject. In our culture, the topic is mostly avoided, denied, or considered far removed from positive things like creativity and inspiration. Loss and grief are the most intense kind of suffering. But we all must face these. How do we nurture ourselves through difficult moments if we avoid dealing with them? Wouldn't it be more valuable to embrace our unavoidable, end-of-life issues as an opportunity to celebrate, honor, and joyfully inspire others to live even more fully? The reason I'm creating more content offering alternatives to traditional memorials and tips for preparing memorial agendas, obituaries, and programs is because I know what it’s like without the planning there in advance. People are enormously consoled when you have something planned ahead of time and when they can follow a structure based on your wishes. A thoughtful memorial plan and structure brings serenity, comfort, a sense of closure, and even healing to those dealing with loss. Meaningful Creativity Can Be Born From Both Suffering And Joy Many people think of strategies for inspiration as always being something positive. But from my personal experience, creativity can be born from both deep suffering and great joy. Many of my most valuable and meaningful creative expressions have come from dealing head-on with loss or through my experience of grieving a loved one. This is something that anyone can do. Addressing human pain is in sync with the heartening theme for nurturing your inspiration because we all experience it and we have the potential to create value from our suffering. Dealing directly with death, whether our own or others, can be the catalyst for tremendous inspiration. It can also lead to reviving a greater spirit for living in the present moment. Facing loss can fuel our efforts to cook, volunteer, garden, work with animals, dance, write poetry or stories, journal, compose music, paint or draw. Planning ahead for your memorial offers potential for the transformation of an intensely difficult experience into one of tremendously positive value, especially if you base your plans on your compassion for those who will be left behind. The peace of mind you gain from having a plan in place to deal with memorial issues is an inspiration to those around you. In this way, you demonstrate unequivocal care for yourself and others by making things easier for everyone through your sincere effort to plan ahead. That kind of sincere effort for others is a huge spark for inspired living. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if this blog is helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! Recommended Reading: 5 Ways to Master Caregiver Learning Curve How To Use Self-Care To Feel Happy Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Use Nature To Reinvigorate Your Spirit Find YourCreativeChord on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedinand Facebook! |
CAREGIVERIn my Caregiver blogs, you'll find I understand the internal struggles and daily stress as a caregiver juggling entrepreneurial life. Archives
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