 Quote from SGI President Daisaku Ikeda by Jenny Leigh Hodgins BIG PLAN A I’ve had surprising challenges since I set out to achieve personal goals. I made bold decisions to leave a career I’d outgrown, sell my home, move out-of-state to be in place as caregiver for my aging parent, then use my new situation to apply myself toward my lifelong dreams of working from home as a creator. CHANGE CAN BE AWKWARD I’ve learned through this process that just because I’m doing something for a good reason (help my mother and relieve other family members) doesn’t mean it will be easy or even appreciated by others. Big changes bring out big obstacles. People need time to adjust to significant transitions. Sometimes the initial shift brings out uncomfortable aspects within a relationship or from within a person. People just flat-out respond differently (including me) when facing new challenges. I’m learning to check my expectations at the door, lower my judgment, strive to listen to opposing perspectives, and work on the only person I have control over; me. EXPECT NOTHING TO BE EASY I’ve also learned that going after my dreams doesn’t mean they will be handed to me on a silver platter. It’s been my experience that thinking the hardest part is over is almost always wrong. Something more difficult or unexpected often presents itself. It is best to prepare myself to expect nothing to be easy, and to forge a life-state ready for impending problems. I’ve found that being true to myself and going all out for my dreams means I may face resistance in the form of judgment from others whose values differ from my own, or who have an outdated version of me in their psyche. That means I must embolden myself to withstand countering views, to stand my ground and persist on paving my new pathway without support or understanding. Again, expect nothing. DISCOVERING YOUR ABILITY TO CREATE PLAN B Reflecting on myself through this period of troubles, I’ve found my weaknesses as well as strengths I didn’t realize were in me. On the plus side, I’ve discovered that despite the fact my best laid plans were completely skewed from the start, I have qualities that enable me to push through and create Plan B. Let me share a bit of my story to make my point. My plan was to sell my home, and use the profits to cover 6-months to a year's expenses for my out-of-state move while building my online business as a blogger, podcast host and course creator. This plan and timeline were both utterly botched by an inexperienced realtor, an unforeseen hurricane, and unexpected family health emergencies. My home was under contract to close when I moved to Kentucky from Florida last July. But the buyer strung me and my realtor along a series of peculiar delays. In hindsight, I now know these delays should’ve been avoided by my realtor quickly cancelling that buyer’s contract early on, to immediately put my lovely home back on market. Instead, that buyer failed to win loan approval after three months’ delay, just in time for a hurricane of historic power (Irma) to strike near my home, causing a housing slow-down (but, fortunately no damage to my home). After the hurricane passed, I stressed to my realtor my urgency to sell my home, as I had not anticipated moving out of state before my home sale. She had a melt-down during our phone conversation, and instead vindictively sabotaged my home sale. Though I attempted giving her time and the benefit of doubt, due to no showings in 6 months, I finally found a second realtor. My new realtor showed the home 11 times in less than 2 months during the slowest (holidays) season, and in February, I finally sold my home after an 8-month delay. (Whew!) FINDING THE VALUE WITHIN YOUR STRUGGLES This is only a partial view of the story, as I simultaneously dealt with additional unanticipated challenges as a new caregiver, a bizarre botching of my investment funds from my previous job's Human Resources department, and with other family issues that slowed down my focus on establishing my online business. But, I also had a variety of mystic protection and benefits. I was eligible for disaster relief due to the hurricane, even though my home suffered zero damage! This allowed me nearly 6 months of freedom from one credit card and my mortgage payments! Thanks to my diligent juggling with living off my credit cards while waiting for my home sale, I achieved my goal to keep my credit score unscathed (currently 836!). Having struggled for many years to transform my credit score from horrible to stellar, and keep it there, was a true personal victory. Due to the delay, I managed to grow my IRA to more than I anticipated, and finally got my funds transferred to my account. I had a wonderful local group of capable men volunteer (in 20° snowy weather!) to move my belongings from an expensive pod to an affordable, more convenient storage unit! YOUR TRUE VICTORY IS WITHIN YOUR PROBLEMS I’m grateful for these wonderful benefits, but find my struggles exponentially more valuable. Through adversity, I began to forge tenacity, resourcefulness, flexibility, appreciation, develop patience, tap into my inherent wisdom, and fuel my sense of empathy for others facing unforeseen challenge. I also learned that my tendencies to doubt myself, complain about my hardships, or be inflexible and narrow-minded do not add value nor provide solutions, relief or comfort to me or anyone around me. Having to experience a failed Plan A, move on to Plan B, while juggling all the complications that entails, is an infinitely more valuable chapter in my life than having had everything go smoothly from the start. Why? CHALLENGING WORKOUTS BUILD STRENGTH Difficulties are like climbing mountains. The higher the altitude gets, the more the climber has to develop and expand in survival capacity. Just walking down a straight, flat road doesn’t test or build one’s abilities in comparison to climbing a mountain. But after climbing a mountain, a walk down the road feels like a vacation. What I’ve learned is that Plan B is about my behavior as a human being. How do I become the most capable, compassionate, wise, person? How do I fulfill my greatest potential? Setting goals that seem impossible to achieve, getting my plans crushed and having to devise a new way through--being forced to find innovative ways to get through a challenge--is what dreams are made of. Responding to each surprising obstacle with the determination to win victory no matter what is crucial to my becoming the best I can be. INTERCONNECTIONS The developments I make through struggles in one aspect of my life interconnect and apply toward other aspects of my life. Through my 8-month journey, I forged discipline to write, compose and network, bringing me a sudden burst of freelance work, creative projects, and personal connections. I'm also becoming a better writer, social media manager, and have expanded my content to podcasts and affiliate marketing. These are in sync with what I envision as my lifelong dream path to manifest my full potential as an artist for peace. Plan B is about my behavior as a human being. It’s about how to respond to the difficulties in front of me. It’s about how I create a better me out of the situation. Creating value out of any situation is transformational for me and those around me. Plan B, from this moment forward, is about brilliant transformation. I'd love to hear your thoughts about my perspective on struggles as a means to make improvement. Please share your comments below. Recommended articles: How To Use Nature To Reinvigorate Your Spirit LEARNING TO BE CREATIVE How To Use Self-Care To Feel Happy 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive To Climb Again My Kilimanjaro You can also find me on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  Monarch Butterfly newly enclosed, after transformation from caterpillar to chrysalis to winged creature. Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
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 Holding a Never Give Up notebook at my Buddhist altar before my morning prayer. Photo JL Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
People think I have a large life. My energy commands a room. But it’s not intentional. In fact, sometimes I think I have two personalities. And, no, I'm not schizophrenic. I developed my exterior confidence through my job as a music educator, and my role as a Buddhist facilitator. Directing, leading and teaching large groups of people performing music, and facilitating faith-based activities with diverse groups provided abundant training. When I’ve had the opportunity to lead, there was no room for ego or attention to myself. There was a task to do. I’ve honed that skill to focus on the task at hand without regard to my personal feelings. I appreciate this skill. It enabled me to achieve more as a teacher, chorus conductor, faith leader and performing musician. It allowed me to see beyond myself and do more than I would have otherwise envisioned had I stopped to ponder my capability. Battling An Attack of Self-Doubt On the flip side, my alter-ego is debilitatingly shy and constantly fighting doubt. Through sheer life experience and in particular debt to my SGI-USA Buddhist philosophy, I’ve managed to function well—beyond my insecurity. But it relentlessly attacked me when least expected with insomnia. Even when I thought I’d confronted my inner demons, fear and doubt insidiously assaulted my thoughts until the wee hours of morning. I’d combat it with my intellect, of course. I spoke to myself with a voice of calmness about reality and fool-proof strategies to turn away my inner demons. I distracted myself with reading, deep breathing and imagery of relaxed, happy visions. I chanted my Buddhist mantra while attempting to empty the barrage of negativity swirling in my brain. I got out of bed and stretched. I wrote my thoughts in my journal. I fought the battle until 3am, despite exhaustion. Finally, I’d drift off for about three hours of rest. In the morning, it would all seem perfectly stupid. In the light of day, my evening struggle seemed like a mirage. Except that I was depleted for two days afterwards. Making Headway By Forging Inner Strength This darkness beat at my inner doors all my life. I’ve dramatically lessened the effects of it. It used to cause such stomach-upset agony I couldn’t function beyond bed-rest. It caused me to develop respiratory issues. I had no stamina against this demon. I continued consistently battling it from the inside out with my determined prayer. I forced myself through the exact experiences that caused me anxiety, repeatedly. I forged directly through anxiety until I incrementally gained strength over it. I no longer have those anxiety attacks that shook my whole body with nausea or stomach pain. I no longer get respiratory illness or stage fright. I have no qualms about public speaking, performing, or facilitating. I've led hundreds of groups as a music educator and chorus conductor, performed in front of thousands as a vocalist/pianist, and spoken in front of countless audiences from musical to community events, from weddings to funerals and beyond. I don’t worry about what people think of me anymore. All those battles forged my strength and grew my confidence. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' Notably, when I’m striving to reach a personal goal, or break through to a new level of success in any aspect of my life, my doubts rear their ugliness to challenge me. That’s how I know I’m on the right track. A Strong Opponent Builds Your Spiritual Muscle My Buddhist practice confirms this is a sign of my inner growth; I’m pushing myself beyond comfort and growing my capacity larger than before. There should be some fear or doubt because...I’m human. I’m tackling new and bold territory. I’m on to these twin evils (fear and doubt). They appear so I may open the path to my future with my true essence—my inner power fueled by belief in the human heart. My heart. There’s resistance so I may develop spiritual muscle. These most powerful opponents enable me to forge my full potential. Anything easy would not warrant a victory celebration. I wage on—with a resolute vow to never give up until I win absolute victory over every new challenge. I know it is always a test of my faith. A chance for me to see how my determined prayer—starting from the inner realm—manifests in tangible, conspicuous external proof, based on the interconnectedness of life. I just have to do the inner work first. Take that, doubt and fear. Take THAT. I'd LOVE to hear from you. Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Thank you for liking and sharing this blog with someone who may benefit from the information. Recommended Articles: Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia You can also find me on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!
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Photos, music, video content ©2018 Jenny Leigh Hodgins
by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
LISTEN to the podcast here. We know the importance of balancing our lives with self-care. There are research-based blogs, news, videos and magazine articles stressing this point everywhere you look. The benefits of taking time for yourself to do something you enjoy, play, relax, rest, or simply do nothing are powerful. Studies prove that doing nothing or taking time to play games or just relax leads to better productivity, inspired creativity, and greater wellness overall. How To Change Your Old Habits With New Proof However, getting more accustomed to taking a break for yourself takes practice for those of us who aren't used to it. For people like me, changing old thought processes can feel counterproductive. But I am challenging my mindset habits like thinking, "doing nothing is lazy" or "will cause me to fall behind", because science proves the opposite is true. Proactively Look For Easy Self-Care Opportunities Both the success of my entrepreneurial life and my mother's health depend on me being in the best shape. So I'm becoming more proactive toward finding more opportunities to take care of myself. The truth is that when I feel good, I have more positive energy, take better action and am more compassionate for others. So self-care is becoming more of a priority. 5 Self-Care Ideas To Try I've found several things work for me. Perhaps some of these suggestions will be helpful for you to embrace a bit of self-care in your life, too. 1. Pool or Garden. When I lived in Florida, I found relaxing in my saltwater pool while enjoying my tropical garden of flowers, fruits, plants, butterflies, bumblebees and dragonflies brought me great relief. Now that I've moved back to my Kentucky hometown as caregiver for Mom, I enjoy the pool here only during summer months. If you have a chance to swim, whether in your backyard, at your condo or apartment, a local YMCA or gym, take advantage of it. Swimming is great exercise, and even better if you have your own oasis to enjoy while floating in your pool. 2. Cycle. Here in beautiful Lexington, I have found cycling on the Legacy Trail to be another self-care practice. If you are able to ride a bicycle, find a local trail or even just cycle around your neighborhood to refresh your energy. Pedaling gets your heart rate up, and the fresh air against you while rolling forward feels great. If you're lucky enough to have a beautiful greenway like Legacy Trail, or Tarpon Springs and Dunedin, Florida's Pinellas Trail, take advantage of the adventure. 3. Take A Walk. During cold winter months (when there is no ice or snow on the sidewalks), taking a walk outdoors has become my short, meditative practice. It's tempting to avoid going out into the cold weather, but every time I take a short walk I come back invigorated. 4. Be Still With Yourself. Meditation is another form of self-care and can include anything from watching the sun set, listening to a guided audio meditation, reading upon first waking up, sitting silently with your thoughts, or chanting. For me, just being in nature is meditative. When I lived in Florida, meandering through my tropical private garden, looking for Monarch eggs or caterpillars, weeding, harvesting pineapples, squash, lettuce or kale, or planting new wildflowers was my meditation. The quiet of the morning, with the sun just rising, surrounded by greenery and colorful plants eased me into the day. Nature's abundance and life cycles never ceased to encourage me. 5. Explore Creativity. Nature or meditation often may lead to self-expression through a creative outlet. Creative expression is good for the soul and often considered another form of 'play.' Creative play boosts wellness, cognitive function and productivity. Time in nature inspires me to create. Nature walks and my cycling adventures led me to start taking nature photos with the simplicity of an iPhone button push. Explore creative outlets like playing a musical instrument, composing music, drumming, taking photos, painting, knitting, writing a poem or a journal entry. Taking an acting class or experimenting with stand-up comedy, or a dance class are all fun options for tapping new creative paths. Standing Still With Yourself Inspires New Creative Energy When I take time for nature's beauty, I'm inspired to create music and take photos. Initially, I gratefully absorb the textures, sizes, colors, lighting, shapes, silences, and sounds from the wind, animals, and in the environment. Being still with my spiritual core while experiencing fresh air and taking in nature's vibrations and visual stimulation, fills me with appreciation and calms my thoughts. This does wonders for stress relief. Take A Moment To Relax With Nature And Music Below is a nature video I made as a kind of self-care meditation for you. Even in the coldest of wintry elements, nature is abundant with pleasing, meditative, healing force. Take a moment to relax while watching my nature music video below. Click on the play button below to enjoy my winter scene nature video and hear my original music, "Moonlight In My Heart". ⬇︎⬇︎⬇︎ I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if you find this blog helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! My Pinterest boards have more self-care ideas. Please check them out and let me know if you've found any of my ideas helpful. You may also find some lovely nature photos & self-care mini-blogs at my Instagram account here. Also connect with YourCreativeChord on: Tumblr Recommended articles: Why Should You Dream Too Big & Harness Your Powerful Imagination? Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Your Insomnia How To Live A Life of Joyful Creativity This post contains affiliate links. It costs you nothing but helps me continue to grow my content! Please see disclosure for details. Thank you for supporting YourCreativeChord.com!  Sunflower rising toward the light. By Jenny Leigh Hodgins The following is a poetic essay about how the inner battle to defeat negativity results in visible changes in our world. To listen to this as a podcast, click here. I’m an artist with the heart of steel determination, wielding my unlimited power of faith in my world. My influence runs deeply into the roots that intertwine both with my soul and yours. My reach is unfathomable and undefeatable. It pierces through our karmic layers of greed, doubt, fear and foolishness to open the storage-house of our collective inner power; the compassionate rhythm of life’s pulsing vibration. This is our eternal truth of interconnection. Bursting from the dark soil of my lesser self—I arise, like the indomitable sunflower facing the sun, even while absorbing toxicity. I am a flower of culture; representing the unifying exchange of a dialogue that surpasses all languages to communicate our musical art of love, truth, wisdom, energy and peace. I stand tall and bright, boldly declaring our mission together; to overcome all obstacles, no matter the terrain or weather, undeterred by any attack or storm. For we are invincible in our capacity for boundless friendship based on our commonality as human beings. My artist journey is a mission for illuminating this universal and eternal bond. I, like you, am a lion of justice. I roar with all my might and pounce at every challenge with the undaunted stature of a great leader. The bravery shines from my face as a beacon toward peace and happiness equally for all. You and I, together writing our stories of victory, as protagonists inspiring each other, are the key to leading global society to the new dawn of peace. Starting with the first sentence of the first page of a chapter to fight against our personal demons. We face the fear and darkness within our hearts. We begin the greatest battle here, moment to moment winning against the lower worlds within our minds. Crushing negativity with the voice of courage, we resolve to contribute to a larger cause. We use each small breakthrough as part of the growing surge of powerful prayer to defeat inherent darkness with bold faith in the eternal rhythm of life that permeates all phenomenon. Defending the dignity and sanctity of life begins in the smallest moment within the corners of the human heart. From my heart to yours, we are already winning. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to let me know your thoughts below! Recommended articles: Why Should You Dream Too Big & Harness Your Powerful Imagination? Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Your Insomnia How To Live A Life of Joyful Creativity You can also find me on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  Bleeding hearts are symbolic of how beauty and value can arise out of pain. This post contains affiliate links. It costs you nothing but helps me continue to grow my content! Please see disclosure for details. Thank you for supporting YourCreativeChord.com!  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins I took a major leap of faith to make a big transition into launching my second career as a 50+ single woman. I left a stable music education job, sold my Florida home, and moved to my Kentucky home-state to be in place as my mother’s caregiver (fulfilling a promise I made to my father on his deathbed in 2014). Now I have the chance to work from home as I pursue my life-long dream of writing, composing music, and creating online products and courses. Going down the path to my dreams isn’t easy. I’ve had some crazy, unanticipated obstacles. People have disappointed me in ways I never saw coming. I’ve made mistakes. Some things failed entirely. I’ve gotten worn down by the constant juggling of entrepreneurial, caregiver, volunteer, and creative tasks. My Closest Companions, Fear And Doubt During the first 18 months of this transition, my closest companions were my overwhelming self-doubt and fear. My tendency toward insomnia escalated dramatically with my nightly battle against anxiety. The switch from my steady teaching job to being a caregiver and entrepreneur in a new living scenario raised my deepest doubts. This constantly interfered with my sleep patterns and stunted my wisdom to make decisive, appropriate business decisions. I often felt paralyzed with my self-doubt. In fairness, I’ve battled my self-doubt my entire life. I’m a worrier, a deep thinker, and have tremendous perfectionism and OCD tendencies. But this new chapter of my life tapped into my inner fears more deeply than ever. Wrestling my negative feelings head-on, I’ve pulled out all the stops to win over them. I’m gratefully making wonderful progress with overcoming insomnia, and with winning over my mental angst. Read more about how I’m defeating fear and doubt here. Guard Your Sleep Routine I’ve discovered the power of a regular routine. I vigilantly guard my night routine. As a deep thinker, it takes effort to stop my mind from swirling. I can’t sleep if I’m thinking! Early Versus Later It takes me more than one hour to get to sleep. If I don’t go to sleep early enough, I think all night at the sacrifice of sleep. I’ve learned that going to bed earlier helps me sleep more. If I go to bed late, my mind starts twitching and I end up tossing and turning all night. Be Consistent Consistency helps train my body and brain to get more rest. As I maintain my early-to-bed, early-to-rise routine, I’m getting more restful sleep. The more I protect my regular sleep and morning routines, the easier it gets for me to relax into sleep. There is power in a regular routine. Get Outdoors & Move Regular exercise helps wear me out enough to overpower my mind with pure physical exhaustion. I aim to walk or cycle every afternoon. This helps alleviate the muscle tension from sitting at a computer or piano keyboard all day. Exercise also refreshes my state of mind, gives me a dose of fresh air, inspires me with the beauty of nature, and often gives me a second wind to keep working after dinner. In my blog, Why Taking Care of Yourself Is The Best Thing For Others, I share how research has proven that when people take breaks, they refuel creativity and are more productive at work. Getting outdoors for some quiet reflection, a vigorous walk or bike ride, or participating in an outdoor sport are all ways to give yourself a break from constant mental work or a sedentary lifestyle. Doing so helps balance your emotions, refresh your productivity, and help your body relax. Shut Things Down When it’s time for sleep, I must deliberately close down electronics, work, and even social interaction to give myself time to wind down toward rest. Here are my Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia:
I highly recommend my recent and current selections, which include; Living Buddhism magazine The Wisdom For Creating Happiness & Peace by Daisaku Ikeda Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferris Reaching Beyond by Herbie Hancock Possibilities by Herbie Hancock The Book of Doing and Being: Rediscovering Creativity in Life, Love, and Work by Barnet Bain The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield Napolean Hill’s Think And Grow Rich Broadcasting Happiness: The Science of Igniting and Sustaining Positive Change by Michelle Gielan The One Thing: The surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller (read my blog with more about this book here.) Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
As unoriginal as it sounds, exercise, healthy diet and a steady daily routine do wonders for your overall wellness. One of the best bits of advice I received, was to establish a consistent daily rhythm. Having a morning and evening routine helps set the tone for my day and paves the way for restful sleep at night. Developing a daily routine while vigilantly training my brain to see my best self has been helping me achieve more as I continue forging my new adventurous path. I plan to keep moving forward toward my dreams as I challenge myself to fulfill my potential. I hope my strategy for sleep is helpful to you, too. Please let me know in the comments below if it is, or if you have any questions or other topics you’d like me to explore more deeply! I sincerely pray this content inspires YourCreativeChord! I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to let me know your thoughts below! Recommended articles: How To Use Self-Care To Feel Happy 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive To Climb Again My Kilimanjaro  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins [Listen to this as a podcast here.] This week, I’ve had some unpleasant experiences with people. It prompted me to reflect on how I responded. Despite realizing intellectually that people are negative because they are unhappy or suffering, I discovered I tend to take things personally, absorb outer ugliness internally, and dwell on that negativity. AWAKENING TO HABITS Wow, what an eye-opener for my personal growth. Even when it is obvious that the issue is coming from the other party’s corner, my tendency is to allow their negativity to overwhelm me. This has shed light on some of my deeper, connected habits. I found that, amid multiple positive things or situations or people, I gravitate toward finding that one negative thing. I find it, spotlight it, analyze it, speculate on it and generally mope about it. UGH. ADDRESSING OLD PATTERNS This is directly tied to those old, well-ingrained thought patterns to doubt or slander myself. As I’m currently on a major personal campaign to change my Debby Downer self-talk patterns, having these uncomfortable experiences with others recently has pushed a button. It’s the button I thought I was getting under control. Working on my thought processes is a major endeavor of itself. I have been consciously working to replace habitual self-slander with the most opposite, positive, affirmative statements possible. MOVING TOWARD POSITIVITY When I experience fear or doubt, I practice replacing those feelings with immediate, positive action based on my goals. This is hard, internal work for me, in the darkest, most vulnerable places of my heart. It requires a strategic, bold effort, sometimes from moment to moment, to overcome my critical self-talk and move myself in a positive direction. I’ve made incremental progress with having a better outlook, and with appreciating versus belittling myself. I became acutely aware that treasuring myself does not come naturally to me, and I have to actively work on self-care. I’m doing this emotional and psychological challenge while juggling with major financial and business aspects. My plate is full all the time as a single woman entrepreneur launching a second career in her mid-fifties. I’m learning to both swim as a new business owner and balance my life with being a caregiver for my mother. I’m transitioning from having lived my entire adult life independently, to having downsized to a roommate in a smaller space at my mother’s condo. It’s a work in progress. But I’m adjusting myself to keep growing professionally, as a creator (composer/writer), and as a caregiver, with all its adjoining issues. DOING THE WORK I sometimes feel I’m climbing a steep mountain alone, while the air gets thinner, and the terrain grows more difficult. But that’s life, I tell myself. Armed with my daily Buddhist chanting, a kind of active meditation that boosts my spiritual optimism, I forge ahead, step by step. I re-determine my determinations daily. I take action and knock things off my to-do list. I’ve learned the importance of working through issues with my mother to be a better daughter. I’ve started being more productive with my work-life by prioritizing to allow some downtime for myself. FALLING DOWN Ah. Just when I felt I was getting into the groove of riding the waves, a few people with their baggage of problems, knocked me down. I know better than to take on other people’s baggage, and yet, somehow, my old habits resurface lickety-split. I wasn’t quite as stable on that wave as I thought, eh? TRANSFORMING NEGATIVE INTO POSITIVE This has boosted my soul-search to find that I have to do three things to generate a positive outcome from this: The first thing is that I must regularly prepare my life-condition. When I have taken care of myself, I’m in a much better place when sh*$ hits the fan. I can dodge it better. When I’m strong internally, the external things and people don’t have the power to sway me as easily. That’s a real key to handling difficult situations for me. Empowering myself so that I’m in such a positive, strong state that I influence my environment. Not the other way around.  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins LET GO OF NEGATIVITY The second thing I must practice is letting go. I must let go of that magnetic pull that darkness has with my heart, and instead turn toward the light. If there is one negative thing, I must learn to ignore that and use all my focus to appreciate the good things and people. FIND THE GOOD THERE Finding the good is a scavenger hunt in the dark, but it leads to brilliant, beautiful treasures of the heart. When I keep my mind clear of the unpleasant, and look instead at what is useful or valuable there, I have the power to transform myself and the situation.  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins It’s probably one of the hardest struggles for me to simply look away from the negative. But as I’ve begun working on my personal affirmations and using my fears as fuel for action, I’ve already experienced positive results. So now I must expand my attention beyond my internal work, to my environment… PRAY FOR THE SUFFERING The third thing I have to do is pray for the happiness of the people spewing negativity in my environment. Happy people don’t dish out crap to others. Suffering people are the ones who stain the pot with corruption. When I take enough care of myself, I’m better equipped to open my heart toward relieving others’ misery. I don’t necessarily need to do anything or say anything to those suffering. Everyone has their own journey and creates awareness on their own timetable. PRAYER LEADS TO POSITIVE CHANGE But I know that prayer for others’ happiness is effective at developing my empathy. Prayer also has the strength to diffuse a tense situation. People can feel what comes from my heart, even if I don’t express it. TAKE CHARGE OF WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL This brings me full circle back to myself. I can only control myself. I can only change myself, not others. If I take care of myself, pray for myself and others, and practice appreciation, eventually, I make the situation better. I either improve myself, or find the good or value in the person or situation. CELEBRATE YOUR GREATEST WIN Being able to create value--especially in the darkest situation or most difficult relationships, is a huge accomplishment. Being positive in easy circumstances is no biggie. Forging my inner life to be strong, wise, joyful and compassionate, regardless of my environment, is the real victory. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if you find my blog helpful or if you have questions or suggestions! My Pinterest inspiration and caregiver boards have more self-care ideas. Please check them out and let me know if you've found any of my ideas helpful. You may also find some lovely nature photos & self-care mini-blogs at my Instagram account here. Also, Connect with YourCreativeChord on: Tumblr Recommended articles: Why Should You Dream Too Big & Harness Your Powerful Imagination? Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Your Insomnia How To Live A Life of Joyful Creativity  Photo by Jenny L Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
Being betrayed is grueling. Learning someone you trusted is not honorable can be shocking. It may be the catalyst for emotional upheaval. But, you can use this delicate predicament as a springboard toward a more fulfilling, positive direction. What matters more in this situation is not what or who has happened to you, but how you respond. It is not an easy process. You’re human, of course. Regardless of your disposition, an emotional process is natural. The question is how to navigate your feelings to steer things in a more positive direction? 1. Don’t retaliate. Instead, clarify. If possible, aim for an objective dialogue to rule out any miscommunication. Whether the other party refuses to talk it through, or you manage to have a conversation, you will learn something. You'll discover a miscommunication and clear it up. Or, you’ll discover someone is not who you thought they were. 2. Take a beat. Being betrayed pushes your buttons. Give yourself some space and time to absorb before responding. This gives you time to reflect without making the situation worse. 3. Find a safe place where you may feel what you feel. If you’re angry, punch a pillow. Take a long bike ride, using your anger to pedal yourself further (literally and figuratively). Exercise helps lower stress. Vent. Talk to someone close to you who is completely trustworthy and supportive of you. Or write in your journal. If you’re creative, fire up a new creative project. Whatever you choose, it’s important to safely vent your feelings. 4. Break free. If possible, cut all ties completely so you are free to move forward in a different direction. Do so with the utmost professionalism and courtesy. How others behaved speaks volumes about them, not you. Always take the high road. 5. Reflect on the gain. Appreciate you are not stuck in a situation with people who create negative causes or drama, or who cannot be trusted. Appreciate that you are free of toxic people. Difficult experiences can teach you lessons about yourself. Learn what you can from the situation. It may be a catalyst for you to rely more on and believe in yourself. It may train you to become a better judge of character. Or, it may serve as a guide for you to create a stronger, more harmonious team based on a shared vision. The outcome may free you to do more of something you’d rather do but hadn’t had the time for it. Life is full of unexpected challenges and difficult people. Handling the situation with optimism, while squarely facing the challenging reality creates value. Remember that other people‘s actions say more about them than you. Use everything as a learning curve to become a stronger, more compassionate, wiser you. Turn the ordeal into fuel for momentum toward a more positive direction. “It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand.” ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture Feel free to leave a comment answering these questions: Have you turned a betrayal into something positive? What did you learn from the experience? SIGN-UP HERE to get your FREE download of YCC's Top 10 Things To Help You Reach Your Goals! Plus get more more strategies for creativity, piano, caregiver and spiritual wellness! Recommended Articles: Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Insomnia You can also find me on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  Problems bring out your strengths like the sunflower rises despite absorbing toxins. Photo Jenny L Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
This past year tested my ability to overcome difficulties while remaining undefeated. I experienced one obstacle followed by another. My breakthrough target date increasingly shifted further beyond my grasp. I went through an emotional ride that continues teaching me about myself. I’m tougher than I thought. I set out on my journey with a strong, passionate determination, and perhaps some naivety that my goals would quickly be achieved. But when an onslaught of unexpected challenges swirled about me, I stood my ground. Like Superwoman. Hands on hips. Chin up. Granted, I then had to grab on to things to stabilize me so I wouldn’t fly off the ground. But I dug in my heels and stayed the course. I hung on with great tenacity. But, internally, the difficulties brought out my deepest fears and most piercing self-doubt. Going through tremendous problems tapped my innermost psychological tendencies. Mine surfaced blatantly as disbelief in my ability to win. More specifically, I questioned my worthiness to accept success and victory. Oooh, that’s deep, too. Why on earth would I think I don’t deserve to win? Facing enormous new vistas led me into the darkest regions of my heart, and it was not pretty. My deeply ingrained, false belief is the culprit for stalling my momentum and blocking my actions. My self-doubt barred me from making progress. It stopped me dead in my tracks. But if I hadn’t had to face such difficult circumstances, my karmic pattern to limit myself would have remained masked. Fortunately, one of my greatest personal traits is my seeking spirit to improve myself. Which leads me to my relentless quest to create value from any situation, a concept I’ve gained from practicing as an SGI-USA Buddhist for 32 years. Going through rough times has taught me to have an appreciation for who I am, and to see the positive aspect of every supposed negative trait I’ve got. My doubt in myself reveals my great sensitivity, which is a large catalyst for my creativity, and generates natural empathy toward others. Because I struggle so vehemently with myself, I’m in a position to better understand and even encourage someone else. My experiences of enduring life’s inevitable sufferings, which may hit me in ways I never anticipated, still bring me back to learning what I’m made of. Endurance, tenacity, determination, sincere striving for personal growth. These are things about myself that help balance against my tendency to doubt. When I look objectively at how I’ve handled a really tough year of transition and challenge, I have to admit I am a person worthy of respect and victory. As I embrace myself with more acceptance and compassion, I become a person who can advance for both self and others. When I can balance care and humility for myself, I become better equipped to be there as a positive support for others, too. Struggles provide the opportunity for transforming failure into a turning point for victory, poison into medicine and creating value from suffering. When going through tough times, my inner battle against my lower tendencies becomes the springboard for me to rise more strongly, and to find the better part of myself. The better part of myself is the same as my best self and greatest potential. Using difficulties or the struggles to reach my goals is the path to forge my essential best self. So, obstacles? Bring it! What do you learn about yourself when going through struggles? How can you use difficulties to forge your best self? I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if you find this helpful, or if you have questions or suggestions! Recommended Articles: Why Should You Dream Too Big & Harness Your Powerful Imagination? Your Troubles Are Your Progress Barometer & Catalyst For Your Full Potential 5 Ways To Use Music & Nature For Self-Care Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Your Insomnia How To Live A Life of Joyful Creativity Connect with YourCreativeChord on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  Moon in Night Sky Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins  Facing the sun no matter what. Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins. By Jenny Leigh Hodgins
YOU ARE YOUR WORST ENEMY Have you ever realized that despite wanting to blame your personal failures or inability to accomplish your goals on external things like circumstances or people in your environment, the real reason you are unable to reach your goals is that you are your biggest obstacle? It is your own doubt of your ability that keeps you from crossing that victorious finish line. We all have our obstacles; we’re mystically either born poor, or rich, beautiful or plain, athletic or clumsy, creatively-inclined or blocked, healthy or unwell, connected or isolated, and so on. But the truth is that even those with the most challenging circumstances often succeed well beyond what others, with seemingly much more positive odds stacked in their favor, only dream about. In the game of life, having more fortunate circumstances does not fundamentally determine success or happiness. BELIEVE IN YOUR POWER If we would move forward through our respective difficulties with the inner determination that comes from solid self-confidence, we would feel the empowerment that core belief brings. This self-empowerment fuels the discovery of our own resources to persevere toward one accomplishment after another. Believing in human potential, in our inherent capabilities is itself the powerful drive that enables successful people to win over incredible odds. There are myriad examples of these kinds of success stories throughout history. Helen Keller, Franklin Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Edison are great examples of people who overcame health issues, poverty and multiple failures to emerge as strong, powerful, balanced, happy and successful role models whom others aspire to emulate. Attaining this kind of inner faith is not about self-centeredness. It is about believing in the positive potential within life itself. But it is nearly impossible to see the highest potential in others if you cannot find it in yourself. And vice versa. The possibilities are astounding if you consider the impact of believing in the positive capacity within yourself and of those in your daily environment. USE IMAGINATION Imagine how that would transform your view of daily life. How would finding the infinite potential within yourself and others change our world? Imagine how your day, your week, your life would play out if you started thinking: “I am doing enough. I am on the right track to my happiness. I’m making the right causes toward success because I’m sincerely focused on developing compassion, wisdom, taking responsibility, being the best I can be, and contributing to others. I trust in my own potential. I know that I will reach my goals, so time is inconsequent.” Imagine how your work-life, family, and community would be different if you thought, “I trust this person will do the right thing, get the job done, step up, has the best of intentions.” Fighting against your negative tendencies to see the better side of people goes a long way toward building both inner happiness and a more harmonious world. Let’s face it, we’re all working against problems within ourselves, our histories, our daily situations. But we all basically want to be at peace and happy. Let’s focus on that commonality, building trust that we each have what it takes to make the world a better place. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if you find this blog helpful, or if you have questions or suggestions! My Pinterest spiritual wellness and caregiver boards have more self-care ideas. Please check them out and let me know if you've found any of my ideas helpful. Recommended articles: Why Should You Dream Too Big & Harness Your Powerful Imagination? Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Your Insomnia How To Live A Life of Joyful Creativity You can also find me on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook!  Jenny L Hodgins with her mother, Minva Hodgins (This piece originally appeared at TheCaregiverSpace.org ) By Jenny Leigh Hodgins I segued into the role of caregiver for my aging parent quicker than expected. Last year, I left my 30-year career, and sold my Florida home to move back to Kentucky as my mother’s caregiver. I planned to be in place well ahead of need, while I transitioned to working remotely as a freelancer. 1. LIFE’S CURVEBALLS AND SLEDGEHAMMERS Things don’t always go according to plan. Life hits with big moments whenever it damn well feels like it. Like many adult children, I face the bittersweet reality of being a caregiver to my parent before either of us are ready. I thought I’d have time to ease into the role, but sometimes health issues pop up or wallop like a sledgehammer. What a wake-up call, being there when Mom is ill, pained face, weak and trembling, incoherent and out-of-it. Alone in that moment, feeling the full burden of being responsible for her well-being can be an enormously scary place. Facing the impending reality of that final chapter in the cycle of life is not for sissies. The foreign world of medical terms, insurance and co-pays, increasingly hectic medical appointment schedule, and daily living responsibilities can add up to an overwhelming mountain of pressure. I hadn’t anticipated how my own daily rhythm would be derailed, interrupted or flat-out sacrificed at times. 2. GET AHEAD OF THE CURVE The learning curve comes swiftly, so I’ve found it best to get my game plan in place, and build my life-state to be ready to play. I’ve discovered the importance of taking care of myself. Putting that oxygen mask on myself first enables me to ward against getting overwhelmed or sick, and be better prepared emotionally, spiritually and practically as caregiver. 3. GET YOUR GAME ON That means I have to protect my daily rhythm. To be effective in my work as a writer and composer, as a caregiver, and more balanced in my wellness, I have to establish ‘me time’. I rise early to pray, eat and have uninterrupted workflow when I function at my best. I schedule exercise later in the day to maintain my energy. I use my smartphone calendar app to send me alerts so I stay, or get back on, task. Mapping out my own daily schedule and preserving it as best I can keeps me on top of things and less overwhelmed when Mom’s needs arise. 4. PLAN TO BE THERE IN ADVANCE I’m grateful to have already settled in, so I’m here when Mom needs me. Not having to rush from another state, or even across town, or leave my workplace, is one load of worry off our minds. My being in place takes some burden off my other family members who don’t have the liberty of leaving jobs, children or properties. 5. TEAM HUDDLE Keeping open communication with Mom and family members about her health, financial and social needs, as well as legal plans, distributes the caregiving load and assures Mom that we are onboard and unified to uphold her wishes. Getting things in place beforehand helps alleviate worry from all. This attempt to keep all in the loop brings us closer in harmony to one another. For the caregiver, that support from family team players is indispensable to peace of mind, providing further strength for the tasks ahead. 6. KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW Getting to know my mother’s daily rhythm gives me knowledge useful for effective emergency response. Being familiar with her usual mannerisms, daily lifestyle, energy, verbal and cognitive responses makes it easy to recognize when something isn’t right. Paying attention to symptoms early on allows early detection and an upper hand in maintaining her wellness. Knowing her doctors, appointments, medications, and health issues is powerful ammunition against mishaps, and preventative against health problems that could run undetected. ENDGAME The role of caregiver can present itself sooner than anticipated, bringing unexpected, new challenges. But I’m finding that having a game plan, a great team that communicates well, a strategy for maintaining my wellness, and tackling challenges with gusto allows me to respond well even to the hardest curveball. I’d love to hear from you. It means a lot to me that my content is helpful and empowers you. Please take a moment to join the conversation below to let me know if you find this helpful, or if you have questions or suggestions! My Pinterest inspiration and caregiver boards have more self-care ideas. Please check them out and let me know if you've found any of my ideas helpful. You may also find some lovely nature photos & self-care mini-blogs at my Instagram account here. Recommended articles: How To Ease Burden By Your Loving Preparation HOW TO PREPARE YOUR END-OF-LIFE STORY Why Should You Dream Too Big & Harness Your Powerful Imagination? Defeat Fear & Doubt with Your Courage & Capability How To Deflect Negativity To Become Happier Believing In The Positive My Top Tips For Winning Over Your Insomnia How To Live A Life of Joyful Creativity Connect with YourCreativeChord on Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Linkedin and Facebook! RESOURCES: Caregiver Smartphone Apps: Best Calendar Apps 10 Daily Apps to Help Caregivers Best Apps for Caregivers Free Downloadable Forms: Power of Attorney Form Will Form Advance Directive Forms National Association of Attorneys General 202-326-6000 Email: feedback@naag.org |
INSPIRATION!In my INSPIRATION blogs, you’ll find ways to overcome obstacles, reach goals, and experience more joy in the moment with spiritual awareness and inner transformation. Archives
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