 Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins This week, I’ve had some unpleasant experiences with people. It prompted me to reflect on how I responded. Despite realizing intellectually that people are negative because they are unhappy or suffering, I discovered I tend to take things personally, absorb outer ugliness internally, and dwell on that negativity. AWAKENING TO HABITS Wow, what an eye-opener for my personal growth. Even when it is obvious that the issue is coming from the other party’s corner, my tendency is to allow their negativity to overwhelm me. This has shed light on some of my deeper, connected habits. I found that, amid multiple positive things or situations or people, I gravitate toward finding that one negative thing. I find it, spotlight it, analyze it, speculate on it and generally mope about it. UGH. ADDRESSING OLD PATTERNS This is directly tied to those old, well-ingrained thought patterns to doubt or slander myself. As I’m currently on a major personal campaign to change my Debby Downer self-talk patterns, having these uncomfortable experiences with others recently has pushed a button. It’s the button I thought I was getting under control. Working on my thought processes is a major endeavor of itself. I have been consciously working to replace habitual self-slander with the most opposite, positive, affirmative statements possible. MOVING TOWARD POSITIVITY When I experience fear or doubt, I practice replacing those feelings with immediate, positive action based on my goals. This is hard, internal work for me, in the darkest, most vulnerable places of my heart. It requires a strategic, bold effort, sometimes from moment to moment, to overcome my critical self-talk and move myself in a positive direction. I’ve made incremental progress with having a better outlook, and with appreciating versus belittling myself. I became acutely aware that treasuring myself does not come naturally to me, and I have to actively work on self-care. I’m doing this emotional and psychological challenge while juggling with major financial and business aspects. My plate is full all the time as a single woman entrepreneur launching a second career in her mid-fifties. I’m learning to both swim as a new business owner and balance my life with being a caregiver for my mother. I’m transitioning from having lived my entire adult life independently, to having downsized to a roommate in a smaller space at my mother’s condo. It’s a work in progress. But I’m adjusting myself to keep growing professionally, as a creator (composer/writer), and as a caregiver, with all its adjoining issues. DOING THE WORK I sometimes feel I’m climbing a steep mountain alone, while the air gets thinner, and the terrain grows more difficult. But that’s life, I tell myself. Armed with my daily Buddhist chanting, a kind of active meditation that boosts my spiritual optimism, I forge ahead, step by step. I re-determine my determinations daily. I take action and knock things off my to-do list. I’ve learned the importance of working through issues with my mother to be a better daughter. I’ve started being more productive with my work-life by prioritizing to allow some downtime for myself. FALLING DOWN Ah. Just when I felt I was getting into the groove of riding the waves, a few people with their baggage of problems, knocked me down. I know better than to take on other people’s baggage, and yet, somehow, my old habits resurface lickety-split. I wasn’t quite as stable on that wave as I thought, eh? TRANSFORMING NEGATIVE INTO POSITIVE This has boosted my soul-search to find that I have to do three things to generate a positive outcome from this: The first thing is that I must regularly prepare my life-condition. When I have taken care of myself, I’m in a much better place when sh*$ hits the fan. I can dodge it better. When I’m strong internally, the external things and people don’t have the power to sway me as easily. That’s a real key to handling difficult situations for me. Empowering myself so that I’m in such a positive, strong state that I influence my environment. Not the other way around.  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins LET GO OF NEGATIVITY The second thing I must practice is letting go. I must let go of that magnetic pull that darkness has with my heart, and instead turn toward the light. If there is one negative thing, I must learn to ignore that and use all my focus to appreciate the good things and people. FIND THE GOOD THERE Finding the good is a scavenger hunt in the dark, but it leads to brilliant, beautiful treasures of the heart. When I keep my mind clear of the unpleasant, and look instead at what is useful or valuable there, I have the power to transform myself and the situation. It’s probably one of the hardest struggles for me to simply look away from the negative. But as I’ve begun working on my personal affirmations and using my fears as fuel for action, I’ve already experienced positive results. So now I must expand my attention beyond my internal work, to my environment… PRAY FOR THE SUFFERING The third thing I have to do is pray for the happiness of the people spewing negativity in my environment. Happy people don’t dish out crap to others. Suffering people are the ones who stain the pot with corruption. When I take enough care of myself, I’m better equipped to open my heart toward relieving others’ misery. I don’t necessarily need to do anything or say anything to those suffering. Everyone has their own journey and creates awareness on their own timetable. PRAYER = POSITIVE CHANGE But I know that prayer for others’ happiness is effective at developing my empathy. Prayer also has the strength to diffuse a tense situation. People can feel what comes from my heart, even if I don’t express it. TAKE CHARGE OF WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL This brings me full circle back to myself. I can only control myself. I can only change myself, not others. If I take care of myself, pray for myself and others, and practice appreciation, eventually, I make the situation better. I either improve myself, or find the good or value in the person or situation. CELEBRATE YOUR GREATEST WIN Being able to create value--especially in the darkest situation or most difficult relationships, is a huge accomplishment. Being positive in easy circumstances is no biggie. Forging my inner life to be strong, wise, joyful and compassionate, regardless of my environment, is the real victory. CLICK HERE TO JOIN YourCreativeChord newsletter for more inspiring content on piano, creativity, caregiver and spiritual wellness!  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
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 Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins Being betrayed is grueling. Learning someone you trusted is not honorable can be shocking. It may be the catalyst for emotional upheaval. But, you can use this delicate predicament as a springboard toward a more fulfilling, positive direction. What matters more in this situation is not what or who has happened to you, but how you respond. It is not an easy process. You’re human, of course. Regardless of your disposition, an emotional process is natural. The question is how to navigate your feelings to steer things in a more positive direction? 1. Don’t retaliate. Instead, clarify. If possible, aim for an objective dialogue to rule out any miscommunication. Whether the other party refuses to talk it through, or you manage to have a conversation, you will learn something. You'll discover a miscommunication and clear it up. Or, you’ll discover someone is not who you thought they were. 2. Take a beat. Being betrayed pushes your buttons. Give yourself some space and time to absorb before responding. This gives you time to reflect without making the situation worse. 3. Find a safe place where you may feel what you feel. If you’re angry, punch a pillow. Take a long bike ride, using your anger to pedal yourself further (literally and figuratively). Exercise helps lower stress. Vent. Talk to someone close to you who is completely trustworthy and supportive of you. Or write in your journal. If you’re creative, fire up a new creative project. Whatever you choose, it’s important to safely vent your feelings. 4. Break free. If possible, cut all ties completely so you are free to move forward in a different direction. Do so with the utmost professionalism and courtesy. How others behaved speaks volumes about them, not you. Always take the high road. 5. Reflect on the gain. Appreciate you are not stuck in a situation with people who create negative causes or drama, or who cannot be trusted. Appreciate that you are free of toxic people. Difficult experiences can teach you lessons about yourself. Learn what you can from the situation. It may be a catalyst for you to rely more on and believe in yourself. It may train you to become a better judge of character. Or, it may serve as a guide for you to create a stronger, more harmonious team based on a shared vision. The outcome may free you to do more of something you’d rather do but hadn’t had the time for it. Life is full of unexpected challenges and difficult people. Handling the situation with optimism, while squarely facing the challenging reality creates value. Remember that other people‘s actions say more about them than you. Use everything as a learning curve to become a stronger, more compassionate, wiser you. Turn the ordeal into fuel for momentum toward a more positive direction. “It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand.” ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture Have you turned a betrayal into something positive? What did you learn from the experience? SIGNUP for more inspiring content!  Problems bring out your strengths like the sunflower rises despite absorbing toxins. Photo Jenny L Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
This past year tested my ability to overcome difficulties while remaining undefeated. I experienced one obstacle followed by another. My breakthrough target date increasingly shifted further beyond my grasp. I went through an emotional ride that continues teaching me about myself. I’m tougher than I thought. I set out on my journey with a strong, passionate determination, and perhaps some naivety that my goals would quickly be achieved. But when an onslaught of unexpected challenges swirled about me, I stood my ground. Like Superwoman. Hands on hips. Chin up. Granted, I then had to grab on to things to stabilize me so I wouldn’t fly off the ground. But I dug in my heels and stayed the course. I hung on with great tenacity. But, internally, the difficulties brought out my deepest fears and most piercing self-doubt. Going through tremendous problems tapped my innermost psychological tendencies. Mine surfaced blatantly as disbelief in my ability to win. More specifically, I questioned my worthiness to accept success and victory. Oooh, that’s deep, too. Why on earth would I think I don’t deserve to win? Facing enormous new vistas led me into the darkest regions of my heart, and it was not pretty. My deeply ingrained, false belief is the culprit for stalling my momentum and blocking my actions. My self-doubt barred me from making progress. It stopped me dead in my tracks. But if I hadn’t had to face such difficult circumstances, my karmic pattern to limit myself would have remained masked. Fortunately, one of my greatest personal traits is my seeking spirit to improve myself. Which leads me to my relentless quest to create value from any situation, a concept I’ve gained from practicing as an SGI-USA Buddhist for 32 years. Going through rough times has taught me to have an appreciation for who I am, and to see the positive aspect of every supposed negative trait I’ve got. My doubt in myself reveals my great sensitivity, which is a large catalyst for my creativity, and generates natural empathy toward others. Because I struggle so vehemently with myself, I’m in a position to better understand and even encourage someone else. My experiences of enduring life’s inevitable sufferings, which may hit me in ways I never anticipated, still bring me back to learning what I’m made of. Endurance, tenacity, determination, sincere striving for personal growth. These are things about myself that help balance against my tendency to doubt. When I look objectively at how I’ve handled a really tough year of transition and challenge, I have to admit I am a person worthy of respect and victory. As I embrace myself with more acceptance and compassion, I become a person who can advance for both self and others. When I can balance care and humility for myself, I become better equipped to be there as a positive support for others, too. Struggles provide the opportunity for transforming failure into a turning point for victory, poison into medicine and creating value from suffering. When going through tough times, my inner battle against my lower tendencies becomes the springboard for me to rise more strongly, and to find the better part of myself. The better part of myself is the same as my best self and greatest potential. Using difficulties or the struggles to reach my goals is the path to forge my essential best self. So, obstacles? Bring it! What do you learn about yourself when going through struggles? How can you use difficulties to forge your best self? SIGNUP FOR MORE INSPIRING CONTENT AT: YourCreativeChord.com By Jenny Leigh Hodgins YOU ARE YOUR WORST ENEMY Have you ever realized that despite wanting to blame your personal failures or inability to accomplish your goals on external things like circumstances or people in your environment, the real reason you are unable to reach your goals is that you are your biggest obstacle? It is your own doubt of your ability that keeps you from crossing that victorious finish line. We all have our obstacles; we’re mystically either born poor, or rich, beautiful or plain, athletic or clumsy, creatively-inclined or blocked, healthy or unwell, connected or isolated, and so on. But the truth is that even those with the most challenging circumstances often succeed well beyond what others, with seemingly much more positive odds stacked in their favor, only dream about. In the game of life, having more fortunate circumstances does not fundamentally determine success or happiness. BELIEVE IN YOUR POWER If we would move forward through our respective difficulties with the inner determination that comes from solid self-confidence, we would feel the empowerment that core belief brings. This self-empowerment fuels the discovery of our own resources to persevere toward one accomplishment after another. Believing in human potential, in our inherent capabilities is itself the powerful drive that enables successful people to win over incredible odds. There are myriad examples of these kinds of success stories throughout history. Helen Keller, Franklin Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Edison are great examples of people who overcame health issues, poverty and multiple failures to emerge as strong, powerful, balanced, happy and successful role models whom others aspire to emulate. Attaining this kind of inner faith is not about self-centeredness. It is about believing in the positive potential within life itself. But it is nearly impossible to see the highest potential in others if you cannot find it in yourself. And vice versa. The possibilities are astounding if you consider the impact of believing in the positive capacity within yourself and of those in your daily environment. USE IMAGINATION Imagine how that would transform your view of daily life. How would finding the infinite potential within yourself and others change our world? Imagine how your day, your week, your life would play out if you started thinking: “I am doing enough. I am on the right track to my happiness. I’m making the right causes toward success because I’m sincerely focused on developing compassion, wisdom, taking responsibility, being the best I can be, and contributing to others. I trust in my own potential. I know that I will reach my goals, so time is inconsequent.” Imagine how your work-life, family, and community would be different if you thought, “I trust this person will do the right thing, get the job done, step up, has the best of intentions.” Fighting against your negative tendencies to see the better side of people goes a long way toward building both inner happiness and a more harmonious world. Let’s face it, we’re all working against problems within ourselves, our histories, our daily situations. But we all basically want to be at peace and happy. Let’s focus on that commonality, building trust that we each have what it takes to make the world a better place. CLICK HERE TO JOIN YourCreativeChord and get more inspiring content on piano, creativity, caregiver and spiritual wellness!  Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins  Never Give Up. Photo by Jenny Leigh Hodgins by Jenny Leigh Hodgins
People think I have a large life. My energy commands a room, but it’s not intentional. In fact, sometimes I think I have two personalities. And, no, I'm not schizophrenic. I developed my exterior confidence through my job as a music educator, and my role as a Buddhist facilitator. Directing, leading and teaching large groups of people performing music, and facilitating faith-based activities with diverse groups provided abundant training. When I’ve had the opportunity to lead, there was no room for ego or attention to myself. There was a task to do. I’ve honed a skill to focus on the task at hand without regard to my personal feelings. I appreciate this skill. It enabled me to achieve more as a teacher, chorus conductor, faith leader and performing musician. It allowed me to see beyond myself and do more than I would have otherwise envisioned had I stopped to ponder my capability. ATTACK OF DOUBT On the flip side, my alter-ego is debilitatingly shy and constantly fighting doubt. Through sheer life experience and in particular debt to my SGI-USA Buddhist philosophy, I’ve managed to function well—beyond my insecurity. But it relentlessly attacked me when least expected with insomnia. Even when I thought I’d confronted my inner demons, fear and doubt insidiously assaulted my thoughts until the wee hours of morning. I’d combat it with my intellect, of course. I spoke to myself with a voice of calmness about reality and fool-proof strategies to turn away my inner demons. I distracted myself with reading, deep breathing and imagery of relaxed, happy visions. I chanted my Buddhist mantra while attempting to empty the barrage of negativity swirling in my brain. I got out of bed and stretched. I wrote my thoughts in my journal. I fought the battle until 3am, despite exhaustion. Finally, I’d drift off for about three hours of rest. In the morning it would all seem perfectly stupid. In the light of day, my evening struggle seemed like a mirage. Except that I was depleted for two days afterwards. MAKING HEADWAY This darkness has beat at my inner doors my entire life. I’ve dramatically lessened the effects of it. It used to cause such stomach-upset agony I couldn’t function beyond bed-rest. It caused me to develop respiratory issues. I had no stamina against this demon. I continued consistently battling it from the inside out with my determined prayer. I forged directly through it until I incrementally gained strength over it. I no longer have those anxiety attacks that shook my whole body with nausea or stomach pain. I no longer get respiratory illness or stage fright. I have no qualms about public speaking, performing, or facilitating. I don’t worry about what people think of me anymore. All those battles forged my strength and grew my confidence. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' When I’m striving to reach a personal goal, or break through to a new level of success in any aspect of my life, my doubts rear their ugliness to challenge me. But that’s how I know I’m on the right track. VICTORY OVER A STRONG OPPONENT My Buddhist practice confirms this is a sign of my inner growth; I’m pushing myself beyond comfort and growing my capacity larger than before. There should be some fear or doubt because I’m human. I’m tackling new and bold territory. I’m on to these twin evils (fear and doubt). They appear so I may open the path to my future with my true essence—my inner power fueled by belief in the human heart. My heart. There’s resistance so I may develop spiritual muscle. These most powerful opponents enable me to forge my full potential. Anything easy would not warrant a victory celebration. I wage on—with a resolute vow to never give up until I win absolute victory over every new challenge. I know it is a always a test of my faith. A chance for me to see how my determined prayer—starting from the inner realm—manifests in tangible, conspicuous external proof, based on the interconnectedness of life. I just have to do the inner work first. Take that, doubt and fear. Take THAT. Share your thoughts in the comments below. Pass this on to someone who may benefit from the information. Get more inspiring content!  Sunflower rising toward the light. By Jenny Leigh Hodgins I’m an artist with the heart of steel determination, wielding my unlimited power of faith in my world. My influence runs deeply into the roots that intertwine both with my soul and yours. My reach is unfathomable and undefeatable. It pierces through our karmic layers of greed, doubt, fear and foolishness to open the storage-house of our collective inner power; the compassionate rhythm of life’s pulsing vibration. This is our eternal truth of interconnection. Bursting from the dark soil of my lesser self—I arise, like the indomitable sunflower facing the sun, even while absorbing toxicity. I am a flower of culture; representing the unifying exchange of a dialogue that surpasses all languages to communicate our musical art of love, truth, wisdom, energy and peace. I stand tall and bright, boldly declaring our mission together; to overcome all obstacles, no matter the terrain or weather, undeterred by any attack or storm. For we are invincible in our capacity for boundless friendship based on our commonality as human beings. My artistic journey is a mission for illuminating this universal and eternal bond. I, like you, am a lion of justice. I roar with all my might and pounce at every challenge with the undaunted stature of a great leader. The bravery shines from my face as a beacon toward peace and happiness equally for all. You and I, together writing our stories of victory, as protagonists inspiring each other, are the key to leading global society to the new dawn of peace. Starting with the first sentence of the first page of a chapter to fight against our personal demons. We face the fear and darkness within our hearts. We begin the greatest battle here, moment to moment winning against the lower worlds within our minds. Crushing negativity with the voice of courage, we resolve to contribute to a larger cause. We use each small breakthrough as part of the growing surge of powerful prayer to defeat inherent darkness with bold faith in the eternal rhythm of life that permeates all phenomenon. Defending the dignity and sanctity of life begins in the smallest moment within the corners of the human heart. From my heart to yours, we are already winning. CLICK HERE TO JOIN YourCreativeChord and get more inspiring content on piano, creativity, caregiver and spiritual wellness!  Bleeding hearts are symbolic of how beauty and value can arise out of pain. I spent the past month carving 1 to 4 hours out of my freelance schedule four days weekly to teach a young woman to drive. Her personal experience of being in car accidents delayed her interest in learning to drive until her early 20s. I knew teaching her to drive would be a special challenge because of the psychological pressure she endured.
I did my best to guide her from the nervous, apprehensive state she had at the start, to become the competent, safe driver she is now. Watching her face her fears head-on, practice to overcome her weaknesses and master each new skill gave me a sense of personal satisfaction. She is a youth who represents the potential in all of us. She is part of the generation whose task will be to lead our society out of the darkness we older humans have created. Doing whatever we can to find opportunities to raise a capable youth to feel empowered by her own abilities is a source of hope and strength. Encouraging this young woman to acknowledge her self-slandering remarks as she tackled a completely new world, and deliberately let go of her doubts, while dealing with her fears from past experiences, was a constant in our driving lessons. It was good to see her gradually leave the scaffolding of fear and doubt behind as she began embracing her competency as a driver. An emerging self-reliance, along with a rising sense of independence and courage have begun to grow in her. This is only the beginning of her capacity as a powerful, strong, independent young woman who will do her part to contribute to a better world. A single, young person feeling good about herself has the ultimate power to impact others in profound and lasting ways. Looking for opportunities to offer whatever we can to raise capable youth is the responsibility of my generation. It is time we help young people overcome their internal obstacles, as this is the key for their victory over inevitable difficulties in life. Each person winning over their inner struggle is a force for good, harmony and peace in a world that desperately needs mending. None of this was easy for me; I gave up critical time from my business, as my workflow and productivity were severely interrupted. The daily sessions were mentally stressful for this 54-year old. I racked my brain every step of the way to find adequate words to guide my unseasoned driving student toward a grasp of handling a vehicle for the first time in multiple scenarios. Giving up my daily routine toward helping someone else was a sacrifice. Now I must pay for it by working fast and twice as hard to catch up on lost business and productivity. But the process taught me that each person, including myself, has something that can help another person. My personal relationship with this young woman developed based on her trust that I care about her. That trust, plus my years as a teacher made me the right person, with the right strategy, to encourage her. This reminded me of my duty, as someone whose youthfulness is now in my rearview mirror, to find more chances to raise capable youth for our future. Now that we have another safe, capable driver on the road, I’m looking outside my box to encourage the next young person toward their limitless potential. Our world is in need of mentors. Young people are ready to lead. Let’s roll forward on that. CLICK HERE TO JOIN YourCreativeChord newsletter for more inspiring content on piano, creativity, caregiver and spiritual wellness! (This piece originally appeared at TheCaregiverSpace.org ) By Jenny Leigh Hodgins I segued into the role of caregiver for my aging parent quicker than expected. Last year, I left my 30-year career, and sold my Florida home to move back to Kentucky as my mother’s caregiver. I planned to be in place well ahead of need, while I transitioned to working remotely as a freelancer. 1. LIFE’S CURVEBALLS AND SLEDGEHAMMERS Things don’t always go according to plan. Life hits with big moments whenever it damn well feels like it. Like many adult children, I face the bittersweet reality of being a caregiver to my parent before either of us are ready. I thought I’d have time to ease into the role, but sometimes health issues pop up or wallop like a sledgehammer. What a wake-up call, being there when Mom is ill, pained face, weak and trembling, incoherent and out-of-it. Alone in that moment, feeling the full burden of being responsible for her well-being can be an enormously scary place. Facing the impending reality of that final chapter in the cycle of life is not for sissies. The foreign world of medical terms, insurance and co-pays, increasingly hectic medical appointment schedule, and daily living responsibilities can add up to an overwhelming mountain of pressure. I hadn’t anticipated how my own daily rhythm would be derailed, interrupted or flat-out sacrificed at times. 2. GET AHEAD OF THE CURVE The learning curve comes swiftly, so I’ve found it best to get my game plan in place, and build my life-state to be ready to play. I’ve discovered the importance of taking care of myself. Putting that oxygen mask on myself first enables me to ward against getting overwhelmed or sick, and be better prepared emotionally, spiritually and practically as caregiver. 3. GET YOUR GAME ON That means I have to protect my daily rhythm. To be effective in my work as a writer and composer, as a caregiver, and more balanced in my wellness, I have to establish ‘me time’. I rise early to pray, eat and have uninterrupted workflow when I function at my best. I schedule exercise later in the day to maintain my energy. I use my smartphone calendar app to send me alerts so I stay, or get back on, task. Mapping out my own daily schedule and preserving it as best I can keeps me on top of things and less overwhelmed when Mom’s needs arise. 4. PLAN TO BE THERE IN ADVANCE I’m grateful to have already settled in, so I’m here when Mom needs me. Not having to rush from another state, or even across town, or leave my workplace, is one load of worry off our minds. My being in place takes some burden off my other family members who don’t have the liberty of leaving jobs, children or properties. 5. TEAM HUDDLE Keeping open communication with Mom and family members about her health, financial and social needs, as well as legal plans, distributes the caregiving load and assures Mom that we are onboard and unified to uphold her wishes. Getting things in place beforehand helps alleviate worry from all. This attempt to keep all in the loop brings us closer in harmony to one another. For the caregiver, that support from family team players is indispensable to peace of mind, providing further strength for the tasks ahead. 6. KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW Getting to know my mother’s daily rhythm gives me knowledge useful for effective emergency response. Being familiar with her usual mannerisms, daily lifestyle, energy, verbal and cognitive responses makes it easy to recognize when something isn’t right. Paying attention to symptoms early on allows early detection and an upper hand in maintaining her wellness. Knowing her doctors, appointments, medications, and health issues is powerful ammunition against mishaps, and preventative against health problems that could run undetected. ENDGAME The role of caregiver can present itself sooner than anticipated, bringing unexpected, new challenges. But I’m finding that having a game plan, a great team that communicates well, a strategy for maintaining my wellness, and tackling challenges with gusto allows me to respond well even to the hardest curveball. CLICK HERE TO JOIN YourCreativeChord newsletter for more inspiring content on piano, creativity, caregiver and spiritual wellness! RESOURCES: Caregiver Smartphone Apps: Best Calendar Apps 10 Daily Apps to Help Caregivers Best Apps for Caregivers Free Downloadable Forms: Power of Attorney Form Will Form Advance Directive Forms National Association of Attorneys General 202-326-6000 Email: feedback@naag.org   Challenging circumstances are an opportunity to awaken and polish our maximum potential as well as develop qualities like compassion, courage, creative thinking, discipline, flexibility, patience and honed focus. Challenges also spur a heightened energy due to the urgency for a much-needed break-through.
GET A WORKOUT Much like a good physical workout will push the limits of our endurance, stamina and strength in order to improve overall health, difficulties in daily life provide a spiritual and mental workout which can result in a stronger life-force, an optimistic state of mind and a more balanced personality. This outcome is dependent on our chosen outlook of the particular situation. When our mind-set is resolutely centered on remaining positively undaunted by external or internal obstacles, we’re able to tap wisdom with fresh ideas for opening the way forward. SGI President Daisaku Ikeda states, “Never for an instant forget the effort to renew your life, to build yourself anew. Creativity means to push open the heavy, groaning doorway of life itself. This is not an easy task. Indeed, it may be the most severely challenging struggle there is. For opening the door to your own life is in the end more difficult than opening the door to all the mysteries of the universe.” TAP YOUR CREATIVE WELL-SPRING Creativity is found through the struggle to push open this door to our inner life. Perhaps this is partly why the greatest art is born of the struggling artist. Artists tend to search inwardly to a deeper level (sometimes even while fighting for survival), embrace the full spectrum of both emotional and psychological experiences, and question or attack civilization’s problems with greater gusto than most. As a result of the artist’s vehement battle, a well-spring of imaginative innovation is unleashed. But the creative life is not the sole patented property of artists. Creativity is found in the willingness to fight against our own perceived limitations, or those of the outside world, with the intent to improve ourselves or our environment, no matter the resistance inevitably endured. This is the ‘never give up’ spirit of great figures in history who spearheaded revolution. Thinking outside the box is all that’s required to open that box. This act itself ignites courage, resilience, and the energy for empathy. Compassion can arise from having gone through these deeper struggles, allowing us to become aware of the human experience to a greater degree. CONNECT WITH THE WORLD This universal connection to others, the realization that one is not isolated or alone in life, is one of the reasons art, music, literature and poetry can be so powerful. So whether it’s to tap creativity, become a person with broader awareness and ability, fulfill our maximum potential, or affect change in the world, life’s hardest problems are in actuality, a wonderful opportunity for positive, exponentially more significant metamorphosis. Since nothing is certain in life but change itself, the perspective to use it for the betterment of self and society is the most positive, productive way to go. Everything depends on the outlook we choose; Do we selfishly dwell on our problems, making ourselves and others suffer? Or, do we look at everything as a chance to expand our character, develop the best of ourselves, and encourage compassion and connection with others, to create value as a foundation for our future? Original Blog Post Here My last conversation with my brother, before he tragically died in a late-night car accident ten days before his 29th birthday, was about riding a bicycle. John was a true naturalist, hiker, camper, gardener, cyclist, outdoor-man. In our last chat at our parents’ Kentucky home, he put his all into coercing me to get a bike and take up cycling. So, after he died, in my 42nd summer, I bought my first bicycle since my youth. It was a Trek road bike that cost me almost $1000.
Just before purchasing, I had a bit of a desperate conversation in my heart with John, neurotically seeking his approval of my first fairly-expensive-for-me bike choice. As if on cue, and out of the blue, John’s best friend, James, walked into the bike shop! Of all days, he had come to the same bike shop to check on repairs of an old bicycle my brother had given him. I showed him the Trek, explained this was something John had wanted me to explore, and got enthusiastic approval from James that this bicycle was a great choice. I felt as though my brother was speaking to me through his buddy to encourage me to get on this bicycle and roll forward. Since that day, I’ve ridden my cherished road bike up and down suburban hills, behind the Kentucky Horse Park in (my hometown) Lexington, Kentucky, through Talon Winery & Vineyards for a quick tasting with a cheese snack, to the beautiful Raven Run Nature Sanctuary, the Arboretum on Alumni Drive (both Raven Run and the Arboretum must be explored only on foot, so bring your bike lock!), and through winding, country roads where gorgeous horses trotted parallel to my dual road wheels past scenic farms with white fences in Paris, Kentucky. Each of my bike rides is a personal tribute to my brother, his ode to the natural world, and to living fully in the present. Having moved to Florida in 2006, my days of huffing and puffing up Kentucky hills have been replaced with sweating bullets through the heat and humidity of this tropical flatland. I’ve pedaled my way on multiple rides through the Starkey Park Trail in New Port Richey to the Suncoast Parkway, along the Pinellas Bike Trail from downtown Tarpon Springs to the Greek Sponge Docks, to Honeymoon Island Beach, Caledesi Island State Park, Wall Springs Park in Palm Harbor, and through downtown Dunedin. As I have passed the big five-OH, I’m more interested in getting off my bicycle for some R & R. There are some fun things to explore along the northern Pinellas Trail if you want to park your two wheels along the way. Start in downtown Tarpon Springs and cycle to the Sponge Docks for a look-see (and maybe even buy) at the plethora of small shops on Dodecanese Boulevard. A unique way to explore Greek culture, or introduce a guest to a leisurely afternoon in Florida, is to view the beautiful hand-made Greek jewelry, wonderfully aromatic, organic hand-made soaps, explore a tea and spice shop full of unique fragrance and flavors, or grab a few, big, soft sponges and assorted, fun souvenirs. Make sure you’re wearing a backpack for your treasures! There are short boat cruises featuring dolphin sightings and sunset views you can book ahead on days with good weather. I love grabbing a delicious Greek lunch or dinner at Dmitri’s On The Water and enjoying a quiet view at the dock alone, or with friends before getting back on my wheels for the jaunt to my car at downtown Tarpon Springs. On one of my previous rides, upon return to Tarpon Springs, a friend and I got a coffee and decadent chocolate dessert at what used to be an Irish pub (it is currently Currentsupscale restaurant), and sat outside listening to a young guy playing the bagpipes on the Pinellas Trail at sunset. Another great bike ride is from Tarpon Springs to Honeymoon Island Beach. Nothing beats a moment to take in the relaxing atmosphere there; colorful kites floating above invisible strings held by kids on family outings, sailboats skating smoothly past the horizon in the distance, the distinctive yakking of sea gulls flying a little too closely as they scout for food, the salty, gentle breeze brushing over you, the warmth of the famous Florida sun, and those beautiful waves of water slapping and bubbling onto the white, sandy shores. Another fun option is to lock your bike wheels to rent a few hours on a kayak, sailboat or a paddleboat at Sail Honeymoon, Inc. The bright rainbow of upright kayaks there has been the subject of many photos (mine are hanging in my ocean-themed bathroom). On the way back from the beach, boost your energy at Strachan’s Ice Cream & Desserts on Dunedin Causeway, then ride back to Tarpon Springs for dinner. Burning calories makes you hungry! Speaking of food; you can go all the way to Dunedin from Tarpon Springs to have a scrumptious pan-seared salmon dinner at Cafe Alfresco. Dunedin is full of options for future bike trips to include leisurely strolls in its abundant, small art galleries and gift shops. On my last bike ride, at Lafayette and Rushmford Home, I found an almost realistic, brown Cuban cigar ornament with a glittery red and gold-painted label—a silly, impulsive Christmas gift purchase that held a private history and packed a humorous punch for my four-foot eleven-inch, petite, blonde, younger sister. One of my favorite places along the Pinellas Trail is an old boxcar called Express Cafe, where you can get an amazingly delicious chocolate smoothie. They also have hot and cold coffee, quiche, breakfast, dessert items and various snacks. A great place to chill on a bench with your bicycle parked close-by in a bike rack. All these food options give me the sustenance to cycle my way back, taking time to view the lovely Wall Springs Park in Palm Harbor, or stop on top of the overpass at Palm Harbor Boulevard to catch my breath while I snap a few photos of the mangroves down below. Every bike ride I’ve taken along the northern end of the Pinellas Trail has been a wonderful tribute to my brother’s adventurous spirit, as well as enjoyable, leisurely and refreshing. It’s about discovery, getting out there, doing new things, touching the spirituality in nature, being present and appreciative of the small things and little excursions, always inspired to continue pedaling ever forward, on to the next adventure. Just have some fun. Pinellas Trail has plenty of that. Get rolling. BIG PLAN A
I’ve had surprising challenges since I set out to achieve personal goals. I made bold decisions to leave a career I’d outgrown, sell my home, move out-of-state to become caregiver for my aging parent, then use my new situation to apply myself toward my lifelong dreams of freelance writing and music composing. CHANGE CAN BE AWKWARD I’ve learned through this process that just because I’m doing something for a good reason (help my mother and relieve other family members) doesn’t mean it will be easy or even appreciated by others. In fact, big changes bring out big obstacles. People need time to adjust to significant transitions. Sometimes the initial shift brings out uncomfortable aspects within a relationship or from within a person. People just flat-out respond differently (including me). I’m learning to check my expectations at the door, lower my judgements, strive to listen to opposing perspectives, and work on the only person I have control over; me. EXPECT NOTHING TO BE EASY I’ve also learned that going after my dreams doesn’t mean they will be handed to me on a silver platter. In fact, it’s been my experience that thinking the hardest part is over is almost always wrong—Something more difficult or unexpected often presents itself. It is best to prepare myself to expect nothing to be easy, and to forge a life-state ready for impending challenges. I’ve found that being true to myself and going all out for my dreams means I may face resistance in the form of judgement from others whose values differ from my own, or who have an outdated version of me in their psyche. That means I must embolden myself to withstand countering views, to stand my ground and persist on paving my new pathway without support or understanding. Again, expect nothing. WHEN PLAN A LEADS TO PLAN B Reflecting on myself through this process of obstacles, I’ve have found my weaknesses as well as strengths I didn’t realize were in me. On the plus side, I’ve discovered that despite the fact my best laid plans were completely skewed from the start, I have qualities that enable me to push through and create Plan B. Let me share a bit of my story to make my point; My plan to sell my home, use the profits to cover 6-months’ expenses for my out-of-state move while building my freelance career, was utterly botched by an inexperienced realtor, and an unforeseen hurricane. My home was under contract to close when I moved to Kentucky from Florida last July. But the buyer strung me and my realtor along a series of peculiar delays that I now know, in hindsight, should’ve been avoided by my realtor quickly cancelling that buyer’s contract early on to put my lovely home back on market immediately. Instead, that buyer failed to win loan approval after two months’ delay, then a hurricane of historic power struck near my home, causing a housing slow-down (fortunately no damage to my home). Afterwards, as I stressed urgency to my realtor, she had an unprofessional melt-down, and vindictively sabotaged my home sale based on emotionalism. Though I attempted giving her time and the benefit of doubt, due to no showings in 5 months, I finally found a second realtor. My new realtor showed the home 11 times in less than 2 months during the slowest (holidays) season, and I’m under contract to close within a month from now. (Whew!) VALUE OF STRUGGLES This is only a partial view of the story, as I’ve simultaneously dealt with additional challenges as a caregiver, and with family issues that slowed down my focus on establishing my income as a writer and composer. But, I’ve also had a variety of mystic protection and benefits. I was eligible for disaster relief due to the hurricane, even though my home suffered zero damage! This allowed me nearly 6 months of freedom from a credit card and mortgage payments! I also managed to grow my IRA more than $5K than I anticipated, and found an amazing, trustworthy financial investment manager (through a trusted, well-to-do family friend) who will aggressively grow my IRA rollover well beyond what my small teacher pension could produce. I had a wonderful group of capable men volunteer (in 20°, snowy weather) to move my belongings from an expensive to affordable, more convenient storage unit! I have a community of peer composers who tutor me free of charge at all hours of day or night in technological aspects needed for my music production skills. I’m grateful for these wonderful benefits, but find my struggles exponentially more valuable. Through adversity, I’ve begun to forge tenacity, resourcefulness, flexibility, appreciation, develop patience, tap into my inherent wisdom, and fuel my sense of empathy for others facing unforeseen challenge. I’ve also learned that my tendencies to doubt myself, complain about my hardships, be inflexible and narrow-minded, do not add value nor provide solutions, relief or comfort to me or anyone around me. Having to experience a failed Plan A, move on to Plan B, while juggling all the adversity that entails, is an infinitely more valuable chapter in my life than having had everything go smoothly from the start. Why? CHALLENGING WORKOUTS BUILD STRENGTH Difficulties are like climbing mountains. The higher the altitude gets, the more the climber has to develop and expand in survival capacity. Just walking down a straight, flat road doesn’t test or build one’s abilities in comparison to climbing a mountain. But after climbing a mountain, a walk down the road feels like a vacation. What I’ve learned is that Plan B is about my behavior as a human being. How do I become the most capable, compassionate, wise, person? How do I fulfill my greatest potential? Setting goals that seem impossible to achieve, getting my plans crushed and having to devise a new way through—being forced to find innovative ways to get through a challenge is what dreams are made of. Responding to each surprising obstacle with the determination to win victory no matter what is crucial to my becoming the best I can be. INTERCONNECTIONS Interestingly, the developments I make through my struggles in one aspect of my life interconnect and apply toward other aspects of my life. Through my 6-month journey, I’ve forged discipline to write, compose and network, bringing me a sudden burst of freelance work, creative projects, and personal connections. These are in sync with what I envisioned as my lifelong dream path as a writer and composer for peace. Plan B is about my behavior as a human being. It’s about how I respond to the difficulties in front of me. It’s about how I create a better me out of the situation. Plan B, from this moment forward, is about Brilliant Achievement. |
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